The Postpartum Rules Nobody Says Out Loud: DBAD style
Don't Be A Dick with Gretchen Clark
Gretchen Clark
5.0 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 23 February 2026
⏱️ 18 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this week’s episode, Gretchen is giving the real talk on how to show up for a friend (or sister, or family member) who’s postpartum, without accidentally making it harder for her. She starts by admitting she got it wrong before and explains what she wishes she’d done instead.
She breaks down the biggest postpartum do’s and don’ts, like never showing up unannounced, never arriving empty-handed, not overstaying your welcome, and not expecting a new mom to host you. Gretchen shares simple, copy-and-paste texts you can send, plus practical ways to lighten the load for new parents.
She also touches on family dynamics, boundaries, and why postpartum anxiety and depression are real, and worth paying attention to. If you want to be the supportive friend who actually helps (not the one who needs managing), this episode is your cheat sheet.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | to any of the moms out there, if you want to share this and be like, motherfuckers listen to this |
| 0:04.6 | because I'm not going to say it because it might come off a little rude. I love it. I didn't want to |
| 0:09.7 | give my baby to someone else. I didn't need help doing that. I needed help with other things |
| 0:14.9 | around the house. That is your fucking baby. That is your body. That is your home. No one else makes decisions other than you and your |
| 0:23.6 | husband regarding that. If you don't want someone to come, you say no. D-bad baby. That stands for |
| 0:32.8 | Don't be a dick if you're new here. And we're not sugar-coating shit. So let's get into it, |
| 0:36.9 | shall we? |
| 0:48.5 | Hi, my gorgeous gals. How are we doing? Today, we are going to talk how to support your friend, |
| 0:53.9 | family member, whatever, who is postpartum. And a couple things I want to preface this episode with. One, when I first had Lenin, I literally texted my friends who had already had babies. And I was like, oh my gosh, I am so sorry that I literally just showed up, empty handed at your house, asked to hold your baby, kissed you on the cheek, and then left. Like, yes, for some people, that is what they need and that's what they want. But I feel like |
| 1:11.0 | this episode will be really, really helpful for someone who wants to support someone else having a |
| 1:16.3 | baby who has never been postpartum themselves. Because there are so many things that you learn when |
| 1:22.1 | you are postpartum. I literally had so much guilt. And obviously, none of my friends make me feel |
| 1:26.8 | that way. |
| 1:32.2 | And realize to give myself grace, like, I didn't fucking know what it was like to be postpartum, |
| 1:38.2 | right? But there are just so many things that I feel like we could chat about that would really help you be the best friend ever. And I'm assuming that if you're listening to this episode, |
| 1:42.1 | then you care about being a really good friend, really good sister, whatever that is, and supporting the person who just had a baby because it's a fucking wild ride. |
| 1:51.8 | I also want to preface this with I talked about this once on my Instagram and so many people were like, no, blah, blah, blah, blah, like so many different opinions, so many different situations, |
| 2:01.6 | so many different things that people want. |
| 2:04.0 | Take what I'm saying with a grain of salt in a way, but I want you to operate, okay, with I would |
| 2:10.0 | rather be overdressed than underdress, and I don't mean clothing. |
| 2:13.3 | I would rather be prepared to be so helpful than be like me and be like, oh, fuck. |
| 2:18.2 | Like, I definitely could have shown up so much better. |
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