May I have your attention please you can now book your train tickets on Uber and get

10% back in credits to spend on your next Uber ride so you don't have to walk home in the rain again.

Trains now on Uber. T's and C's apply. Check the Uber app.

So everyone if you had a personal assistant, and I don't mean somebody who was hired to assist you in your official duties, like if you're the Secretary of State and need somebody to walk your dog but a straight up personal assistant who was there to run errands to take

care of things that you just didn't have time to do.

What would this, what would you ask this magical person to do for you?

Well, right now in work from home social distancing world,

I would ask that person to cut my hair please cut my

hopefully they'd be qualified to do so no dishes, no laundry.

Do you think you could not do the laundry or you want them to do the laundry?

I don't ever want to do dishes or laundry again.

That's it.

No dishes, no laundry. Everything else is gravy. I would also like them to clean out my closet and organize all of the stuff that I meant to do during quarantine and now two months in have yet to actually

get done. So you want Marie Kondo? Yes. Yes that is who I want to come be my personal assistant.

We'll call her.

She needs the work.

I need a personal assistant to assuage my guilt over my unfulfilled aspiration.

Also, if you're Marie Kondo and you have a personal assistant,

but you've organized yourself as to the degree to which she does.

Like what is the assistant do?

Mess things up.

And that can actually do it.

...