We are Ken Jennings and John Roderick. We speak to you from our present, which we can only assume is your distant past, the turbulent time that was the early 21st century.

Fearing the great cataclysm that will surely befall our civilization, we began this

monumental reference of strange and obscure human knowledge.

These recordings represent our attempt to compile and preserve wonders and esoterica that would otherwise be lost.

So whether you're listening from an advanced civilization or have just reinvented the technology to decrypt our transmissions,

this is our legacy to you.

This is our time capsule.

This is the omnibus. Oh, You have accessed entry 946. I S 3821.

Certificate Number 42734. The placebo effect. 427.

The placebo effect.

We need the cure.

We need the cure.

Why the only cure is bed rest. Anything I give you would only be a placebo.

Where do we get these placebo?

Maybe there's some in this truck.

Are you worried about long COVID, John?

Yes.

Of all the lengths of COVID to get?

Yes.

What would be the worst one?

The longest COVID is the one I am the mostest afraid of. The longest COVID. It's like an unfinished

Hemingway novel or something. It's a great like a big cast movie the longest COVID

...