The following podcast is a dear media production.

Hi friends and welcome to the papaya podcast.

I'm your hostess, Try and Hermostis, Sarah Nicole.

And each week I'm going to be dishing out some sweetness mixed in with some seeds of wisdom or something like that.

So get ready to get inspired, get candid,

get real, because we are all in this digital space together.

Good day, my friends. I, this is a day. Oh my gosh. So let me just backtrack this a little. We are now in the point of the podcast where I am out of recorded content. And I've been traveling and I find guests and I always do everything in person. And it's been something that I wanted to hold on to. I've wanted to keep that. And as we shift and evolved in this new world, that's not going to be possible anymore. And I'm going to have to start doing things not so in person. I mean, once I run out of literally everybody in my house. And sorry, you are going to hear my pets in the background. That is part of the ambiance and the experience of being here with me today. But this week, I'm doing a solo podcast. And even from a statistical

standpoint, do really well for the podcast. I'm always really uncomfortable with them. And not in a

bad way. I like this discomfort. It's an important discomfort because I'm a

writer. I get to write out my words. I get to read them back. I get to experience them and detail them

and make them flow with the emotion and intention that I want it for them. And that's something

I've practiced and learned over and over and over. When it comes to free flowing a podcast, I'm going to run it like the same way I do everything else,

which is not a lot of planning, not a lot of like preparing because I love to just sit and have a

conversation and I want that to kind of remain.

But that's scary because that's asking for a free flow of my thoughts

into a microphone, into a recording device, and on to you. And there's a scary, vulnerable factor of

that because there isn't a filter. I mean, I guess I could ask for things to be edited, but I don't

want to. There's a rawness and a realness to this. And that's kind of what we're going to do today.

So as of right now, it is, you know, in the morning and I'm sitting with a cup of coffee in my

living room. And yesterday I had a really, really profound experience, just kind of recognizing

shame. And this is a strange time. And as much as I love to kind of be a champion through

healing and growing, there's something that's always difficult when you realize you haven't healed

...