Parents are not told that until they raise themselves, all they will be doing is projecting

their unmet needs, expectations, fantasies onto their children.

I am Vision Laciani, founder of Mind Valley, the School for Human Transformation.

You're listening to the Mind Valley podcast, where we'll be bringing you the greatest teachers

and thought leaders on the planet. It discussed the world's most powerful ideas in personal growth

for mind, body, spirit and work.

So a mother once came to me with her infant. The infant was around 13 months old,

and she was an anxious mother, as most mothers are, and she wanted to fix this child and produce

this perfect baby. So she could post about the baby on social media. However, the baby had its

own agenda, how dare it. And the baby refused to bend to her will. In fact, according to her,

the baby was non-reactive, was not connecting, was not making eye contact. So she had all these

pamphlets, you know, is my daughter ASD, autism spectrum disorder. Is she RAD, reactive

attachment disorder? You know, we're really good at diagnosing other people. So I knew in my gut,

and with all the work I've done, that it cannot be that a child that young has got so many psychiatric

issues. So what is the issue? What is the real core problem here? So as I began to observe the mother,

and the mother at one point began to feed the baby, I began to observe the interaction.

And by Gali, the mother was right. Every time the mother would put a spoon in this

wretched child's mouth, this child had the audacity to look away. And then the mother would do

helicopter swirls and swings and gymnastics and acrobatics, because the mother was being so humiliated

in front of me. And she was like, can you please bloody eat the spoon of whatever honey I'm giving you.

But nope, the child refused. The mother happened to leave the room to get something, my office. And

I was for a moment left with this thing. And I was like, don't leave me with this thing. However,

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