The One Question That Changes Everything in Therapy | ft. Elliott Connie HTS w/ DrG #408

Heal Thy Self with Dr. G

Wellness Loud

Health & Fitness, Alternative Health

5 • 1.5K Ratings

🗓️ 18 August 2025

⏱️ 55 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS! Visit https://jaspr.co/DRG and use code DRG for $200 OFF for a limited time Go to birchliving.com/healthyself to get 20% OFF your Birch mattress, plus 2 free pillows. Sign up for our newsletter! https://drchristiangonzalez.com/newsletter/ Transformational healing happens when we stop rehashing past problems and start focusing intensely on what we want to become. Solution-focused therapy flips conventional approaches by asking "What do you want?" instead of "What's wrong?" creating immediate forward momentum toward desired change rather than endless analysis of trauma and dysfunction. In this groundbreaking episode, therapist Elliott Connie reveals how one revolutionary question transforms lives: "What are your best hopes from talking to me?" This instantly directs attention toward desired outcomes rather than problems. Human beings are programmed to move toward whatever they focus on - where you look, your life follows, just like drivers unconsciously steering toward accidents they're observing. We explore his approach on why problem-focused therapy keeps people stuck while solution-focused methods create exponential transformation.Hope isn't wishful thinking; it's the most practical tool that rewrites your entire life story. Be sure to like and subscribe to #HealThySelf Hosted by Doctor Christian Gonzalez N.D. Follow Doctor G on Instagram @doctor.gonzalez https://www.instagram.com/doctor.gonzalez/ About Our Guest: Elliott Connie, MA, LPC is a Texas-based psychotherapist and world-renowned expert in Solution Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT). With over 15 years of clinical experience, he's the founder of The Solution Focused Universe and author of multiple books including "The Solution Focused Brief Therapy Diamond." Website: https://elliottconnie.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elliottspeaks/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elliott-connie-852b787/ Timestamps: 0:00 - Introduction 1:04 - Elliott's Mental Health Superpowers and Core Philosophy 6:04 - The Breakfast Club Controversy: Reframing Child "Disrespect" 12:26 - From People Pleasing to Speaking Your Truth 16:04 - Why Traditional Therapy Keeps You Stuck in Problems 23:21 - The Power of "What Do You Want?" vs "What's Wrong?" 28:10 - Future-Focused Couples Therapy That Actually Works 35:39 - The 2020 Breakdown: When Hope Saved Everything 43:01 - Finding Hope in Dark Moments 46:00 - Facing Racism in the Mental Health Field 52:08 - Change Your Questions, Change Your Life

Transcript

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0:00.0	Most people, they underfocus on their desires and we overfocus on our doubts and we believe more in the things we fear in doubt.
0:08.5	And if you can flip that, then people become unstoppably powerful.
0:12.6	If you ever felt stuck rehashing the same problems in therapy and wondering why traditional approaches keep you focused on your worst moments.
0:21.4	This episode is going to be for you.
0:22.7	I'm here with Elliot Connie.
0:24.3	He's a psychotherapist and author who is flipping conventional therapy on its head.
0:28.5	Instead of spending years digging into what went wrong, Elliot focuses on one powerful question.
0:34.7	What do you want?
0:35.6	He's going to explain to you why most therapy keeps you trapped
0:38.6	in your problems and why looking towards your desired future, not your painful past, is the
0:44.0	real key to transformation. You see, most people don't realize that they're steering their
0:47.7	life in the wrong direction just by where their focus and their attention goes. But
0:52.1	Elliot will show you how his approach completely can change
0:56.1	the course of your life. All right, Elliot, welcome to the show, man. I am a big proponent of
1:01.9	mental health, so I'm super excited for our convo. Perfect. You feel good? I do. I got some rapid fire
1:07.3	questions for you that I'm going to ask though okay ready all right uh as a therapist
1:12.5	what would you say is your number one superpower hope hope okay um what is one thing in mental health
1:21.5	conventionally that we're missing out on what are we doing wrong in mental health? Wow. Overly focusing on problems.
1:30.3	We have this weird belief that if we understand the problem, we can somehow be better, but that is
1:34.5	completely a misnomer. Okay. What is one word that you'd love to ban from all therapy sessions?
1:43.0	Wow. One word I would love to ban from all therapy sessions. Wow. One word I would love to ban from all therapy sessions.
1:52.0	Why? Oh, okay. Ooh, that's I mean, that's huge in therapy sessions. I can't wait to hear about that. What is the power of focusing on the future versus the past in therapy?
	...

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