THE "O.N. CONTACT" RULE: Handling a Narcissist When You Can't Walk Away completely 🛡️🤝
The Mental Healness Podcast
Lee Hammock
4.9 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 26 February 2026
⏱️ 16 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
"Just go No Contact!" feels like a slap in the face when you have shared custody, a business, or legal ties to a narcissist.For many survivors, complete severance isn't an option. But that doesn't mean you have to remain their emotional punching bag. As a self-aware narcissist, I know exactly how we use children, finances, and property as leverage to keep getting "supply" long after the relationship ends.In this video, I’m introducing the "O.N. Contact" (Only Necessary Contact) method. This is the strategic evolution of "Gray Rock," designed specifically for those who are forced to communicate with their abuser.All My Links (Coaching, Courses, Merch): https://link.me/mentalhealnessIN THIS VIDEO, WE DISCUSS:The Narcissist’s Leverage: Why they use the kids or money to bait you into emotional arguments.Defining "Necessary": How to strip every ounce of personality and emotion out of your communication.The "Hostile Coworker" Mindset: Shifting from "ex-partner" to "business associate that I hate."Communication Protocols: Why you must move everything to email or parenting apps (and never phone calls).The Extinction Burst: How they will react when you stop feeding them supply through co-parenting chaos.You can't always leave the situation, but you can leave the dynamic.RESOURCES & SUPPORT: 📚 Self Love Journal: https://a.co/d/70L3zKb 📖 Kid’s Book ("It's Not Your Fault"): https://a.co/d/2WNtdKJ 📧 Newsletter: subscribepage.io/mentalhealnessWHO IS LEE HAMMOCK? I am a diagnosed narcissist who has spent over 8 years in psychotherapy to understand my own mind and help you protect yours. On this channel, I take the mask off to show you how narcissists think, why we do what we do, and how you can heal from the damage.Join the Community: www.youtube.com/channel/UCm1vYQOEQRo6X4Dy8KoGPMw/join
Want to be a Guest? https://tinyurl.com/Mental-Healness-Podcast-Form
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Let's keep it hot and ready with you. |
| 0:01.6 | I see the comments every single day. |
| 0:04.0 | Y'all, every day. Lee, I can't go to no contact. We have three kids. We have four kids. We have a business together. Lee, both of our names are on the mortgage. Lee, we work together. Look, I hear y'all, and I literally see y'all hear you and I see you. |
| 0:21.1 | If you are in that situation, like the standard no contact device feels like a fantasy. |
| 0:26.3 | It feels like you being left out doesn't. |
| 0:27.8 | They feel like they're talking to everybody but you, right? |
| 0:31.2 | Because you can't go no contact. |
| 0:33.0 | Like today, we are dealing with reality. |
| 0:36.4 | Like, as a diagnosis, I know that if I can't keep you as a partner, like, I'll |
| 0:42.6 | keep you as a hostage through our shared responsibilities. |
| 0:46.1 | I still have access because we got kids. |
| 0:47.8 | We work together, blah, blah, blah, whatever it is. |
| 0:49.9 | If you can't close the door completely, like, you need to learn how to install a security gate with barbed wires, with lasers, with a moat, with alligators and crocodiles that hunt narcissists, right? |
| 1:05.1 | They got the taste of a narcissist years ago and they just, they hunt narcissists now. |
| 1:11.0 | Yeah, seriously. |
| 1:12.0 | But we called this the on contact, like on contact, oh in contact, only necessary contact. |
| 1:20.4 | That's what we're talking about today, y'all. |
| 1:21.8 | The on contact method, like, where you can't completely go no contact because, again, |
| 1:25.4 | everybody doesn't have the, I guess, I don't want to say luxury, right, because you're still healing from abuse, again everybody doesn't have the I guess I don't want to say |
| 1:28.7 | luxury right because you're still hiddling from abuse but everybody can't go no contact |
| 1:32.3 | because you have certain things that are tying you to this person you know if you had no |
| 1:37.0 | ties then you can go no contact right and some people in these situations you have third |
... |
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