BBC Sounds, Music, Radio, Podcasts.

Hello, I'm Steve Puntz with me,

our Laura Lex, Jim Arasmith, Jason Forbes, Ed MacArthur,

and Special guest, Reese James.

And this is...

Yeah, thank you to the audience there for noticing

Hugh Dennis is not on the show this week.

We warned him not to twist his opinions on the government's budget.

But he went ahead anyway.

So, welcome to the Now Show, which is now under the BBC's strict new impartiality guidelines.

For listeners, I should point out that anything that contravenes the BBC's impartiality rules

will have been cut and replaced with this.

And of course, all jokes will be balanced equally between the different parties.

I say I say, how many Labour MPs does it take to change a light bulb?

I don't know, but Jeremy had great plans for changing light bulbs

and the playwright stabbed him in the back.

And how many Liberal Democrat MPs does it take to change a light bulb?

I don't know, but probably more than they can spare at the moment.

And how many Green Party MPs does it take to change a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, the light bulbs they use are so dim,

you can't tell if it's been changed or not.

And how many Conservative MPs does it take to change a light bulb?

...