The News Quiz: Ep3. When the King came round for tea
Friday Night Comedy from BBC Radio 4
BBC
4.1 • 13.5K Ratings
🗓️ 8 May 2026
⏱️ 29 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This week you’re all cordially invited to join us for King Charles’ state visit to Donald Trump’s White House. Please dress to impress. We’ll also be digging into the state of the nation ahead of the upcoming elections on 7th May. Plus, what do we think about MPs drinking at work?
Written by Andy Zaltzman.
With additional material by: Matt Hulme, Eleri Morgan, Joe Topping and Angela Channell Producer: Georgia Keating Executive Producer: James Robinson Production Coordinator: Asha Osborne-Grinter Sound Editor: Marc Willcox
A BBC Studios Production for Radio 4.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | BBC Sounds, Music, radio, podcasts. |
| 0:05.0 | They're on a journey into the unknown. |
| 0:09.0 | We've got a checkpoint to get to. |
| 0:11.0 | Hey, stop, stop the race. |
| 0:13.0 | If you're loving race across the world, |
| 0:15.0 | then unpack every episode on our brand new video podcast with me, Tyler West. |
| 0:19.0 | And me, Alfie Watts Watts with all the highlights, |
| 0:21.8 | all the low lights, more stories and more behind the scenes. |
| 0:24.7 | And if there's space, we'll squeeze in a few travel tips too. |
| 0:27.3 | It's the video podcast you can't miss. |
| 0:29.4 | Race across the world, the detour. |
| 0:31.4 | Watch an eye player, listen for more on BBC Sounds. |
| 0:36.3 | Is your long-term relationship increasingly strained? |
| 0:39.8 | Do you find that where once you could discuss difficult subjects with civility, |
| 0:43.5 | now things tend to descend into mudslinging, name-calling and petty insults? |
| 0:47.7 | Are you worried that so many hurtful words have already been said between you |
| 0:50.9 | that things will never quite be the same again? |
| 0:53.9 | Then maybe you need a King Charles the third |
| 0:59.0 | available for everything from behind closed doors chats via potentially awkward double dates to full-blown state banquets a King Charles the third can make everything seem okay again simply by talking in a soothingly royal, reassuringly neutral and ostentatiously unconfrontational manner. |
| 1:17.6 | Price on application, warning, effects may wear off within days or hours, not certified views during actual negotiations. |
| 1:22.6 | Suitable views whilst listening to The News Quiz. |
| 1:37.8 | Hello, to commemorate this week's historic meeting in Washington, D.C., between the House of Windsor Frontman and America's multiply convicted president, our two teams this week are team King of the Castle |
... |
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