Description:For years, women in their late 30s and 40s have walked into doctors’ offices saying the same thing: “I don’t feel like myself.” They’re exhausted but can’t sleep. Gaining weight but eating less. Anxious, foggy, irritable, disconnected. And too often, they’re told it’s stress. Aging. Depression. Just part of being a woman. But what if it’s something else? This week, Jen and Amy sit down with board-certified OB-GYN and menopause expert Dr. Mary Claire Haver to talk about what’s really happening in perimenopause — the hormonal transition that can begin years before your final period and affect nearly every system in your body. Drawing from her new book The New Perimenopause, Dr. Haver explains: Why the brain may be the first organ to notice hormone shifts Why antidepressants are often prescribed before hormones are even discussed The dangerous legacy of outdated research and underfunded women’s health How bone density, cholesterol, muscle mass, mood, libido, and cognition are all connected And why midlife is not a decline — but a powerful window of opportunity This is not just a conversation about hot flashes. It’s about the “Zone of Chaos.” It’s about medical gaslighting. It’s about reclaiming your body as your ally, not your enemy. If you’ve ever whispered, “What is wrong with me?” or spent your sleepless nights up Googling dramatic questions like “is my brain broken?” — this episode is for you. You’re not broken. You’re not weak. And you are definitely not alone. Thought-provoking Quotes: “We got some bad f*cking advice…Power through! You built this life. You asked for this. Oh, and also be thin, and make yourself smaller, and don't take up space, and make sure you put everyone in your family before your needs. That's the only way you're gonna be rewarded, elevated, celebrated is on this altar of self-sacrifice. You know what that did for my mother and my grandmother? Dementia and sarcopenia. I’m saying we’re going to take a different path.” – Dr. Mary Claire Haver  “Men build rockets. Women build healthcare systems.” – Dr. Mary Claire Haver  “One of the good things about menopause is that women lose their give-a-shit filter.” – Dr. Mary Claire Haver “I just want menopause to be taken half as seriously as erectile dysfunction.” – Dr. Mary Claire Haver Resources Mentioned in This Episode: The New Perimenopause: An Evidence-Based Guide to Surviving the Zone of Chaos and Feeling Like Yourself Again by Dr. Mary Claire Haver – https://www.amazon.com/New-Perimenopause-Evidence-Based-Surviving-Yourself/dp/0593736613/ The New Menopause: Navigating Your Path Through Hormonal Change with Purpose, Power, and Facts by Dr. Mary Claire Haver - https://amzn.to/4aUtrx3 The Blue Lagoon film (1980) – https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080453/ Menopause.org The International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health (ISSWSH) - https://www.isswsh.org/ The Pause Life - https://thepauselife.com/ MidiHealth - https://www.joinmidi.com/ Guest’s Links: Website - https://thepauselife.com/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/drmaryclaire Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/drmaryclaire Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@drmaryclaire TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@drmaryclaire Substack - https://drmaryclairehaver.substack.com/ Podcast - https://thepauselife.com/blogs/the-unpaused-podcast Connect with Jen!Jen’s Website - https://jenhatmaker.com/ Jen’s Instagram - https://instagram.com/jenhatmakerJen’s Twitter - https://twitter.com/jenHatmaker/ Jen’s Facebook - https://facebook.com/jenhatmakerJen’s YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/JenHatmaker The For the Love Podcast is presented by Audacy.  To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices