Friends welcome to the Ransom Tarr podcast John Eldridge this week in the studio with

Morgan Snyder and a couple of guests couple guys that we're excited to introduce you to, we've got our friends Pablo and Grant in the studio with us this week.

These guys have journeyed with us for a while, and particularly through the experience that we call the intensive, that

become good soil intensive that Morgan leads here once a year at Ransomed

heart. It's an experience as we've explained to you that's built around a young man's journey kind of in you know into the early 30s into young adulthood a transformational experience, a mentoring experience.

And what I want to ask you guys is, so prior to getting into this message, prior to drinking the kind of drinking the

kool-aid

what was your internal world like as a young man

you know late 20s early 30s

just married just beginning to have kids, just building career, describe

what that's like for you.

What were those years?

What were your questions? what was your internal world oh my goodness

Thank you John my name is Pablo I guess my life was probably summarized with the phrase that I am on my own and that I have no clue how to handle life.

This is my internal reality, it's not what I describe to my wife or to my friends or to the people around me.

I'm a great poster, I'm smiling, I know how to handle my life, but internally.

I don't know how to, my finances, how to handle my wife's heart I have more questions that I have answers

The results of this profound shame around it if people knew that this is my internal reality

They would probably reject me, I would be cast out, I would not

have access to being loved and to belong and to have a community.

And so there was a lot of shame internally and then fear of what's life going to

throw my way that I'm probably not going to know how to handle it that was probably

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