The Narcissist Cheater & The Codependent Response
Trauma & Narcissism Redefined
Caroline Strawson
4.8 • 701 Ratings
🗓️ 8 February 2022
⏱️ 21 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
I have experienced what it’s like to go through a relationship with a narcissist who cheats on you, and getting out of that relationship isn’t as easy as you may think. In this episode, I’m going to discuss what my experience was, and the mindset I found myself in, that made leaving my narcissistic partner so difficult.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- My own personal experience with a narcissistic partner who is cheating
- How to deal with the shame, guilt and personal blame of a cheating partner
- Why you may find staying in the relationship more comfortable than leaving it
- Strategies to avoid blaming yourself and tips to a safe exit from the relationship
- How to find a safe community to help in your post-narcissist life
From making excuses for your partner's behaviour to blaming yourself for them cheating, it’s important to get yourself into a positive mindset so that you can leave your narcissistic partner as soon as possible. I hope my story can shed some light on what a lot of people go through when they find themselves being cheated on so that you can avoid making the same mistakes.
Resources:
- Divorce Became My Superpower: https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Became-Superpower-Caroline-Strawson/dp/1726255549
- Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the narcissistic trauma recovery podcast. I'm Caroline Strawson and I'll be sharing with you |
| 0:09.6 | awareness, understanding and education about the devastating effects of narcissistic abuse to help you thrive. |
| 0:16.5 | I want you to know that I've been exactly where you are and I believe you. And this show is all |
| 0:22.8 | about taking you from trauma to transformation. Hey, my friends, really, really pleased to have |
| 0:30.6 | you on my podcast this week because it's a subject that's really close to my heart and that is |
| 0:36.3 | the narcissist cheetah. So in this episode, |
| 0:40.0 | I'm going to talk to a bit about my own personal experiences of this and really the types of |
| 0:45.5 | feelings that can come up around this, including shame and guilt and personal blame. |
| 0:51.3 | And then the dynamic that can start to happen in that relationship with a narcissist |
| 0:56.0 | when you are partnered with someone who does cheat on you and those emotions that are going to come |
| 1:02.2 | up. And it's a real personal story for me around all of this. Because if you just said to me, |
| 1:08.3 | you know, before I got married and when I was younger, if you're with |
| 1:12.5 | somebody who cheats, what would you do, Caroline? Well, my immediate response would be, yeah, |
| 1:18.0 | they would be out of the door. You know, there is no way, you know, I will stay with anybody |
| 1:23.9 | if they have cheated on me. And I was really, really strong in all of that. |
| 1:28.8 | You know, I'd been in other relationships before, other toxic relationships. And there hadn't |
| 1:34.4 | really been any cheating of those. There was different elements of abuse potentially that |
| 1:39.2 | had come up. But there wasn't necessarily any cheating. Well, that I know of anyway. |
| 1:44.0 | But in my marriage, there was. And I remember, well, that I know of anyway. But in my marriage there was. |
| 1:46.5 | And I remember that very, very first time when I found out that my ex-husband, who is a covert narcissist, was cheating, was actually when I was six months pregnant with my daughter. |
| 1:56.4 | So you can imagine, you know, that emotion of being pregnant, we'd got a home together. |
| 2:03.3 | You know, I was totally financially reliant upon him at that stage because I'd given |
... |
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