4.9 • 74.2K Ratings
🗓️ 24 October 2025
⏱️ 74 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
This week, in Grafton, Vermont, a couple attempts to help an odd pair of hitchhikers pull their truck out of the mud, only to end up drinking, hanging out, and ending up brutally murdered. They are found in the strangest positions that dead bodies could be placed. Detectives want to track down these hitchikers, but the pair show up back at the murder scene, not expecting police to already be there, and start blaming each other! Somehow, it then gets even crazier!
Along the way, we find out that fairy houses just mey be for kids, that when you're wearing a "Fat Albert" t shirt, people take notice, and that "I only killed them a little" is a terrible excuse for being part of a murder team!!
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| 0:00.0 | Hello, everybody and welcome back to Small Town Murder Express. |
| 0:19.9 | Yay! And Choochoo! |
| 0:22.1 | Oh, yay indeed, Jimmy. |
| 0:23.7 | Yeah, indeed. |
| 0:24.7 | My name is James Petro Gallo. |
| 0:26.2 | I'm here with my co-host. |
| 0:27.4 | I am Jimmy Wiseman. |
| 0:28.9 | Thank you, folks, so much for joining us today on another wild, absolutely wild edition of Small Town Murder Express. |
| 0:36.1 | This is, we've had a lot of dumb murderers. Yeah. This might be the dumbest way to get caught for murder that anybody's ever done in 642 episodes. That says a lot. So this is a special kind of dumb we're dealing with this week. It's crazy. It's a wild story. We'll get into it. First of all, shut up and give me murder.com. Get your tickets for live shows. Now, live shows actually in theaters, we are the only one you can, there's two left. One's completely sold out. One has like a dozen tickets left in Philly. So if you'd like to go to Philly, there's a few tickets left. You can get them. I'm not sure if there's pairs or what it is, but check it out. Get in there. Or you can get tickets to the virtual live show. Oh, boy. Doesn't matter where you are on this planet of Earth. If you have internet, you can get the virtual live show just like a regular live show, except in your living room. You can drink your own booze and do whatever you want. We're going to have costumes on. You could dress like an asshole, too. That's right. October the 30th. It's a Thursday right before Halloween. It's available for two weeks after that as well, too. You can buy it. You can watch it 100 times. Do whatever you want in that two week period. Dress up with us. Hang out with us. It's a good time. So do that. Shut up and give me murder.com. |
| 1:44.3 | Also. a hundred times, do whatever you want in that two-week period. Dress up with us. Hang out with us. |
| 1:45.0 | It's a good time. |
| 1:45.9 | So do that. |
| 1:59.0 | Shut up and give me murder.com. Also, definitely listen to crime in sports, our other show, and your stupid opinions, our other other show. Get those. They're hilarious. You want to hear those. Then get yourself Patreon. Patreon.com |
| 2:00.1 | slash |
| 2:00.8 | crime |
| 2:01.4 | in sports |
| 2:02.1 | just like |
| 2:02.5 | the name |
| 2:02.7 | of that |
| 2:02.9 | show |
| 2:03.1 | you should |
| 2:03.4 | be listening |
... |
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