O'Ohoi, my dear shit shows, how's it going?

So I'm sure many of all woke up this morning, expecting there to be a new podcast episode.

And before I talk about why, I just want to say that I feel really guilty anytime I don't have an episode up for y'all at 6 a.m. every Wednesday.

Like I feel like you guys are waking up in the morning expecting that from me.

And so yeah, like I feel shitty when I don't have that episode ready for you.

However, I know that that's not the case,

and that is just me being an adult child,

because you'll understand.

So, it's been a little bit rough. You know the holidays are a tough time of the year for all of us and for me especially

This year feels a little bit more difficult than years past and I think that's because I'm I've been really thawing out. I'm having a lot of emotions, you know,

repressed shit come to the surface about my family and feeling like you

don't have a family anymore.

It really feels like there's just this huge spotlight on the disease, the dysfunction. I'm sad, I'm mad. I wanted to take another day to like give myself some self-care so I was going to record the episode

this morning and then have it out for y'all but then Kiki my cat she had two seizures back to back

within 20 minutes.

She's had seizures for a couple years,

pretty sporadic, and this was the first time

that she had two back to back and I remember when I went to the vet the very

first time that it happened they told me like you don't need to be concerned but

unless like she has two back to back that happened and I had to take her immediately to an

emergency vet and for her to be you know left there overnight so they called and they said that she her white blood cell

counts are really high like three times the three times the count that they should be. I think it's like 17,000 is what they said is normal and she has like 44,000 and so they said it could either be you know

...