Good morning. It's three minutes after 10, and you are listening to James O'Brien on LBC, where I begin, not so much with an apology.

It's one of those mornings where I think that the chaotic state of the nation becomes even clearer than it is on every other morning.

And also, the headlines are almost hilarious if it was happening somewhere else, or indeed in a work of fiction penned perhaps by Armando Yanucci or somebody like that, then we'd all be chuckling away. But apparently Boris Johnson has stepped in to save holidays on the continent. Did you know this? Yes, he stepped in to save holidays on the continent. And who has he stepped in to save them from? Well, it doesn't say

that in the Daily Telegraph headline, but as far as I can tell, he saved them from Boris Johnson's plans.

Boris Johnson has stepped in to save holidays on the continent from Boris Johnson's own previous plans.

What were the previous plans? Right, I'm just going to pause myself at this point and warn you that

it's highly likely you will not understand any of what follows.

That is not a reflection upon your intelligence or my ability to communicate complicated ideas.

It is because we are living in a state of almost Kafkaesque chaos, all right?

Or confusion, actually.

Are you ready?

So Boris Johnson has stepped in to save continental holidays

from Boris Johnson's previous plans. What were the previous plans? The previous plans were

to introduce something called an amber watch list. Now, an amber watch list, by my reckoning,

would have seen the number of tiers to our traffic light system. You'll remember, of course,

that a traffic light system is generally

perceived as being quite a simple way of communicating things because it only has three colors,

red, amber green. I technically, if you've been doing your highway code lately, you've got red,

red, red and amber green, haven't you? But you take my point. The reason why you do a traffic light

is because it's supposed to be really simple. Why is it supposed to be really simple? Because it consists of only three colours. Had the amber watch list that Boris Johnson has now saved you from, despite the fact that it was Boris Johnson's original plan, come in today, which was Boris Johnson's original plan, albeit that he's now saved you from that original plan, then the amber watch list, by my reckoning, would have been the sixth tier of the so-called

traffic light system. So a system has been selected for its simplicity. It contains only three

constituent parts, would have had six parts by tea time today. Green, green watch list, amber, amber

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