Do it for your wife, who told you to pick up bread, but instead you picked up Fred, your grandson, again.

And now your daughter is calling because he missed football.

That's the fourth time this month.

You can wave his future career goodbye.

If you don't do it for you, do it for your wife and little Freddy.

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For Halloween, I'm reading The Monkees Paul by W.W. Jacobs. A classic, chilling horror story of unintended consequences and being careful what you wish for.

Written in 1902 and featured in Harper's Magazine, it's one of the classics of the genre and even has the

honour of being parodied in the Treehouse of Horror series

on The Simpsons.

...