I was always a party girl, always the drunkest in the room at every event, social event

I've ever been to. So I'd been doing that for many, many years. And my really, you know,

the awkward moment that told me enough was enough was the morning after that.

It was four years of me struggling and questioning my drinking after having a child.

So really I became sober curious after my first child.

And then I tried to combine the two lives of motherhood and alcohol, the release, the, you know, my reward at the end of a

hard day. And it all culminated in me having really bad anxiety every time I drank. But I still

continued to try and moderate and I failed miserably at that and always ended up every night

out with my head in a toilet. So I woke up one

morning after feeling anxiety for about every Sunday for about four years and I knew I'd had enough.

That really was a moment where I had kind of a realization lying in bed that I can't do this

anymore. I'm hurting the people I love and most of of all, I'm hurting myself on a weekly basis.

And I felt that it was damaging my mentally equilibrium.

I was struggling mentally every Sunday.

And I lied in bed that morning and started to ask myself really serious questions.

Like, what are you doing?

Like, why are you continuing this Like, why, why are you

continuing this really negative behaviour to yourself? And I remember lying there just thinking,

why, why am I doing this? And who have I become? This isn't the person I'm supposed to be.

This isn't the mother I'm supposed to be. And I remember lying in bed like I did every Sunday and just thinking, gosh, this has got to change.

And I walked into the lounge after feeling the moment of awkwardness and went plodded out there in my dressing gown,

probably smelling a little bit like vomit because I think I had regurgitated a yummy kebab from the Abra cababra takeaway.

...