The minions aren't dumb.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I know, I know.

Hear me out here.

How could I possibly say that this...

...isn't stupid as heck.

Well, underneath these bumbling buffoons are true masterminds, geniuses of science and language,

and planning that have been guiding world politics since the dawn of time.

Yeah, really, and no, I show that looks just great in a pair of overalls.

Today, my friends, the time has come. I thought I might have just a little bit more, that I might just escape this fate

just a little bit longer, but today is the day I do my first minions theory. If you don't know,

the minions are these adorable little yellow tic Tacs from the Despicable Me franchise. Their whole

schick is that they want to serve the most evil being on the planet, becoming the henchmen for some of

the worst villains throughout history,

while getting up to some ridiculous shenanigans.

So let's address the elephant in the room. I, a 31-year-old man, am not who the Minions movies are made for.

In fact, I may be so far away from the Target demo for these films that it's borderline comical I'm even bringing them up.

Even still, I gave these movies a real try, an honest shake. I really wanted to like them.

And they lost me at...

Yeah. And yet, I can't help but respect these movies. Like, listen, you don't get to be the 13th highest grossing

film franchise without doing something right. And I wanted to understand what that was. I wanted

to understand why they're so popular. And, you know what? I think I get it. These movies

really lean into what they're good at. Like, did you know what the beginning of Despicable

...