The Mindset of an Abuser When You Cut Them Off
The Mental Healness Podcast
Lee Hammock
4.9 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 25 May 2026
⏱️ 17 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
What actually happens inside the mind of an abusive or controlling individual when you implement permanent no contact? Many survivors wonder if their absence is felt, or if the toxic person simply moves on without a care.
In this video, I break down the cold behavioral mechanics of how an abuser handles absolute silence. We discuss the initial phase of disbelief, the panic that sets in when they realize you aren't coming back, and why their desperate attempts to reach out are driven by a need for control rather than genuine love. Stop breaking your own peace to check on someone who only valued your compliance.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | When was the last time you stopped and listened to your body? |
| 0:03.0 | Here's a Holland and Barrett ad break to do just that. |
| 0:06.0 | Go on. |
| 0:08.0 | Tune in to your body's energy levels. |
| 0:10.0 | Is your brain struggling to focus? |
| 0:13.0 | Are you about to let out a midday yawn? |
| 0:15.0 | Or is your body crying out saying, |
| 0:18.0 | You've got to show me love. |
| 0:24.5 | We know what your body's asking for. |
| 0:27.2 | In store online on the app. |
| 0:29.7 | Back Your Body, Holland and Barrett. |
| 0:33.6 | Attention all passengers. |
| 0:39.3 | The Uber ride for Jeff's rugby team will depart in five minutes from Platform 15. Your ride comes with six toilets and a refreshments carriage that you'll empty within five minutes. |
| 0:46.3 | Thank you for booking your tickets on Uber. |
| 0:49.3 | Trains on Uber. |
| 0:52.3 | What is going on, beautiful people? |
| 1:03.0 | Today, we're talking about how do abusive, manipulative, controlling people feel when you finally go no contact with them. |
| 1:09.6 | When you finally cut them off for good and you go silent, never to be heard from again. |
| 1:15.5 | Like tafeiti. Like Maui when he lost his hook in Moana never to be seen again right when you when you are finally done for good what goes on |
| 1:22.4 | inside the mind of an abusive narcissistic person when that happens y'all so as a diagnosed narcissist i can speak to |
| 1:29.8 | this from a perspective that you probably won't get anywhere else right it's just first things first |
| 1:38.2 | the doubt it's kind of like going through the cycle of uh you know it's the cycle of the cycle of |
... |
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