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The Daily Motivation

Lewis Howes

Education, Self-improvement

4.8 • 893 Ratings

🗓️ 10 April 2024

⏱️ 8 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Rob Dial delves into the reasons behind people's tendency to judge others, attributing it to low self-worth and unresolved childhood traumas. He candidly shares his own struggles with feeling second to his father's love for alcohol, leading him to build emotional walls and sabotage his relationships. Dial explains how working with his wife and understanding their different love styles helped him break the pattern and learn to feel safe in her presence. Through his journey of self-discovery and healing, Dial redefines love as feeling secure enough to work on personal growth alongside a partner, emphasizing the importance of vulnerability and trust in relationships.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.
0:07.0	Why do you think so many people are judgmental of others?
0:15.0	I mean I could tell you for myself and I could tell you from a lot of people I've worked with is I think we have a low self worth.
0:21.0	It was easy for me to bring somebody down because it made me feel better
0:23.9	by myself, right? And it's easier in the moment to be like, oh yeah, screw this person,
0:28.9	oh yeah, whatever it is that I'm jealous of, or whatever it is that they have that I don't have,
0:33.6	my low self-worth, they came from, and I could tell you where it came from, from my dad
0:37.9	not being around, because I didn't feel like I got my dad's love.
0:40.8	My dad was, was an alcoholic, and so he wasn't really around he passed away
0:44.4	when I was 15 for being an alcoholic I end up finding this out like years
0:47.8	down the road when I started working on myself that I felt like I came second to my
0:51.3	dad's love to alcohol. We cared more about drinking than spending quality time with you.
0:55.1	When in reality as an adult, right?
0:56.6	Now that I can look at it, I was like he had traumas that he never overcame,
0:59.2	but I felt as a kid he loves alcohol more than he loves me. That why he's not showing up for me and so that's the thought the subconscious thought that I had and never was aware of until my my 20s and so what happened was I because I felt second to him I felt second to everybody else around me and so how do I make myself in the moment feel better than everybody else? I wouldn't say anything bad to somebody's face but in my head I would judge them I would be jealous I would want what they had whatever it might be because I need to make myself in this moment
1:29.3	feel better than the other person around me because I just never overcame that pattern at that
1:34.5	point in time of feeling like I was second. So the way that I make myself not feel
1:38.4	second and feel better than and feel number one was I would judge everyone that
1:42.2	was around me.
1:43.0	How did it make you feel when you judged others and what is that?
1:47.0	What are the most people feel when they're in judgment of other people?
1:50.0	I mean we think that it's going to make us feel better, but makes us feel worse, right?
	...

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