The Mental Load of Family Life: The Work You Can’t See But Always Feel

Under the Influence with Jo Piazza

Jo Piazza, Influence Inc.

Technology, Kids & Family, Personal Journals, Society & Culture, Parenting

4.3 • 834 Ratings

🗓️ 25 September 2025

⏱️ 40 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Why does it feel like moms carry a running scroll of everything — the playdates, the vaccines, the permission slips, the damn pile of laundry on the stairs? Sociologist Allison Daminger calls it cognitive labor — the invisible mental work of family life — and her new book What’s on Her Mind shows why women do so much more of it, even in couples who want equality. We talk about what cognitive labor actually looks like, why personality differences are really gender training in disguise, and how we can raise the next generation to share the mental load. Get Allison's book here. Join our newsletter community here. ORDER EVERYONE IS LYING TO YOU here. Visit our lovely sponsors here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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1:07.5	This morning before I even made my coffee, I swear to God, my brain had already planned three playdates,
1:12.3	panicked about scheduling flu and COVID shots, and silently cursed the pile of crap sitting on the stairs that no one but me seems capable of moving.
1:17.7	That is cognitive labor. It's the endless mental ticker tape of family life, mankeeping,
1:25.9	caregiving, and just generally being a woman in the world.
1:31.0	Because if you're listening to this show, you probably already know who does most of the
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