The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | EP 579

Passion Struck with John R. Miles

John R. Miles

Reinventing Yourself, Behavior Change For Good, Human Behavior Change, Self Mastery, Live Like You Matter, Emotional Resilience, Why You Matter, Purpose, Mental Fitness, The Power Of Mattering, Why Mattering Matters, Science Of Mattering, The Need To Matter, Science Of Human Flourishing, Science Of Wellbeing, The Mattering Effect, How To Be Successful, Veterans, Bio Hacking, Personal Growth, Tiny Habits, Health, Mattering, Knowing Yourself, Self Awareness, Spiritual Health, Success Strategies, Life Span, Passion, Self-improvement, Self Help, Self Improvement Podcast, Relationship Health, Life Lessons, Metabolism, John R. Miles, How We Learn, Health Habits, Fitness, Mindfulness, Grit, Education, Passion Struck Life, Cancer Survivor, Peak Performance, Personal Mastery, Power Of Intentions, Live Intentionally, Behavior Change, Health & Fitness, How To Be Unstoppable, Success, Meditation, Future Of Work, Brain Plasticity, Leadership, Power Of Choice, Self Limiting Beliefs, Education Podcast, Health Podcast, Passion Struck, Courage, The Power Of Letting Go, Inspirational, Naturopath, Self Development, Entrepreneurship, Be Intentional, Habit Formation, Alternative Medicine, Personal Relationships, Health Span, Neuroscience, Military, Intentional Living, Life Coaching, Future Self, Passion Struck Podcast, Behavior Science, Mental Health, Eft Tapping, Self Realization, Alternative Health, Functional Medicine, Micro Choice, Human Connection, Growth Mindset, Self Love, Perseverance, Ideal Self, Spirituality, Intentionality, Happiness, Best Self, Longevity, Self Actualization, Balanced Lifestyle, Introspection, Executive Coaching, Habit Loop, Alternative Health Podcast

4.9 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 28 February 2025

⏱️ 36 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What if love doesn’t feel uncertain because of the person you’re with—but because you haven’t fully chosen yourself? Many people settle for relationships that leave them questioning their worth. This episode explores The Mattering Mindset in Love—the difference between being chosen out of love versus convenience, why self-worth determines the love we accept, and how to cultivate relationships that foster security and emotional fulfillment. This conversation will shift everything if you’ve ever wondered why love feels like a guessing game.

Download the Leave Behind in the full show notes at: https://passionstruck.com/the-mattering-mindset-in-love/

Key takeaways:

Love isn’t about being chosen occasionally—it’s about being valued consistently.
If you have to convince someone of your worth, they are not your person.
The Mattering Mindset in Love requires mutual investment, not one-sided effort.
True commitment isn’t about exclusivity alone—it’s about daily actions that reinforce security and trust.
If clarity scares someone away, they were never fully invested.
The right partner welcomes conversations about commitment because they value you.
Settling happens when you mistake trust and familiarity for real emotional security.
Speak with your feet—your actions should align with your worth, not just your desires.
A great relationship makes you feel seen, heard, and valued for exactly who you are.
If you wouldn’t tolerate a certain level of effort from a friend, why accept it in a relationship?

Want to take this conversation further? Head over to JohnRMiles.com/speaking if you’re interested in bringing these insights into your organization, team, or event.

Sponsors:

Factor Meals: http://factormeals.com/factormeals50off and use code “FACTOR MEALS 50 OFF
Rosetta Stone: Unlock 25 languages for life at “ROSETTASTONE.com/passionstruck.”
Prolon: Reset your health with 15% off at “ProlonLife.com/passionstruck.”
Mint Mobile: Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at “MINT MOBILE dot com slash PASSION.”
Hims: Start your journey to regrowing hair with Hims. Visit hims.com/PASSIONSTRUCK for your free online visit.
Quince: Discover luxury at affordable prices with Quince. Enjoy free shipping and 365-day returns at quince.com/PASSION

Next on Passion Struck:

In the next episode of Passion Struck, John sits down with Natalie Namaste, an expert in self-healing and emotional freedom, to discuss how to break free from subconscious patterns and build a self-love foundation that transforms every relationship in your life. If you’ve ever felt stuck in toxic cycles, this is an episode you won’t want to miss.

For more information on advertisers and promo codes, visit Passion Struck Deals.

Join the Passion Struck Community! Sign up for the Live Intentionally newsletter, where I share exclusive content, actionable advice, and insights to help you ignite your purpose and live your most intentional life. Get access to practical exercises, inspiring stories, and tools designed to help you grow. Learn more and sign up here.

Speaking Engagements & Workshops Are you looking to inspire your team, organization, or audience to take intentional action in their lives and careers? I’m available for keynote speaking, workshops, and leadership training on topics such as intentional living, resilience, leadership, and personal growth. Let’s work together to create transformational change. Learn more at johnrmiles.com/speaking.

Episode Starter Packs With over 500 episodes, it can be overwhelming to know where to start. We’ve curated Episode Starter Packs based on key themes like leadership, mental health, and personal growth, making it easier for you to dive into the topics you care about. Check them out at passionstruck.com/starterpacks.

Catch More of Passion Struck:

If you liked the show, please leave us a review—it only takes a moment and helps us reach more people! Don’t forget to include your Twitter or Instagram handle so we can thank you personally.

How to Connect with John:

Connect with John on Twitter at @John_RMiles and on Instagram at @John_R_Miles. Subscribe to our main YouTube Channel here and to our YouTube Clips Channel here. For more insights and resources, visit John’s website.

Want to explore where you stand on the path to becoming Passion Struck? Take our 20-question quiz on Passionstruck.com and find out today!

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	What if the reason love feels so uncertain isn't because you haven't found the right person,
0:05.4	but because you haven't fully chosen yourself? Too many people mistake being wanted for being
0:11.2	valued. Mistaking mixed signals from mystery and inconsistency for passion. But here's the truth.
0:19.1	Real love doesn't leave you guessing. It's built on mutual respect,
0:23.7	emotional security, and the belief that you matter. In episode 579, we're diving deep into the
0:30.7	mattering mindset in love. How to recognize when you're being chosen out of love versus convenience,
0:36.5	how to stop chasing validation, and how to
0:39.5	build relationships that make you feel seen, valued, and truly secure. If you're tired of second
0:45.2	guessing your worth and love, this conversation will change everything. Welcome to Passionstruck.
0:50.5	Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles, and on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips,
0:55.6	and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turned their wisdom into practical advice
1:01.3	for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality
1:07.6	so that you can become the best version of yourself.
1:15.7	If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors,
1:22.0	CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now, let's go out there
1:29.9	and become Passionstruck. Hey there, Passionstruck family. Welcome to episode 579. Whether you've
1:37.3	been with me for a while, or this is your first time, this is where we challenge conventional
1:42.7	thinking and create lives that truly matter.
1:46.2	Earlier this week, we tackled two powerful conversations that reshaped how we think about
1:51.1	influence on both a global and personal scale.
1:54.7	On Tuesday, I sat down with Edward Fishman, author of the new book, Choke Points, to break down
2:00.6	the hidden power of global supply
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from John R. Miles, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of John R. Miles and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.