Hello and welcome to Maintenance Phase, the podcast that detoxifies your brainstem, your ear, ear buds, ear holes.

It was such a strong start, right?

Confidence.

The key is confidence, all of a sudden.

It's such a strong start.

So, exactly what you're going to say before you say it every time.

Every once in a while you come on and you're like, I've been working on this tagline.

And every single time it is a surprise to me.

I started working on that tagline when I started speaking the sentence.

I am Michael Hobbs, I'm a reporter for The Havvieden Post.

I'm Aubrey Gordon, I am a writer, a columnist, an author, a lot of things, and now a podcaster.

And both of us are on Patreon at patreon.com slash maintenance phase or maintenance phase.com or lots of other places where we have t-shirts and all kinds of other cute stuff in the description.

Yeah, and if you want to design a t-shirt, you can design a t-shirt and you get paid for it.

And it gets to be a maintenance face t-shirt.

Look how cute.

Yay, Mike.

Aubrey.

Can I tell you what we're talking about today?

I don't know if I'm going to be able to follow along because for the last two days I've only been eating cayenne pepper and water and I'm a little light-headed.

Just spicy water.

It's frankly not far off what we're talking about today.

We're talking about the master cleanse.

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