The Marriage Proposal That Wasn’t

Modern Love

The New York Times

Society & Culture, Nyt, Nytimes, Loss, Redemption, Storytelling, New York Times, Love, Essay

4.3 • 9K Ratings

🗓️ 7 June 2023

⏱️ 29 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Bob Morris could tell that something was changing with his elderly father: His car was clean, his manners had improved and he had a shine in his eyes. He had a new “lady friend.” Her name was Arlene. Arlene loved Bob’s father, but she also set clear boundaries with him. She didn’t want to care for him when he got sick and — despite what Bob’s father led Bob to believe — she didn’t want to marry him. Today, Anna Martin talks to Bob about his father’s last love story. Then, she talks to Arlene herself about a misunderstood marriage proposal and the limits of love. Today’s episode mentions suicide. If you’re having thoughts of suicide or are concerned that someone you know may be having those thoughts, the number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Just a note before we start the show, there's a brief mention of suicide in this episode.
0:21.4	From the New York Times, I'm Anna Martin.
0:23.6	This is Modern Love.
0:26.3	Today's essay is by Bob Morris.
0:29.2	One of the first things I noticed about Bob, the second he came into the studio, is that
0:32.8	he is a talker, which of course I love.
0:37.1	We talked about his very cool sway jacket.
0:39.8	The cottage he recently moved into, the college we both gone to, like we were just hopping
0:44.1	from topic to topic, like we'd known each other for a while.
0:47.7	But when we talked about his essay, Bob's voice changed.
0:52.2	He slowed down, he smiled.
0:55.5	Bob's essay is about his father's final years.
0:58.3	He took care of his dad during that time.
1:00.4	He visited his dad at his retirement home, they went on long drives together.
1:04.8	But then something happened that Bob didn't expect.
1:09.1	His dad fell in love.
1:12.2	Here's Bob reading his essay, My Father's Final Romance.
1:22.0	Not long after my mother died, my father found what he called a lady friend.
1:26.8	He was 81 and she was a little younger.
1:29.7	They met in Palm Beach, Florida, where he was renting an apartment for the winter.
1:34.6	For over a year they had a blast.
1:37.4	They went to concerts, had dinners out.
	...

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