Welcome to the guided meditation podcast. Let's begin by lying down completely still.

Ah, time to relax.

So, okay, why are you on the floor? Oh my god are you okay?

I can't help you. Don't worry bro, I know the kiss of life.

No!

Ah, in taste of life.

A second chance, a rebirth?

Tuna.

Oh yeah, I did eat a tuna sandwich.

Oh.

Don't want but that?

I'm here, cut it. With compassion, I'm here.

Simple!

I want to tell you the story of a bizarre thing that happened to me five years ago.

It was what you might call a life-changing experience,

a metaphorical kick in the balls that put me on the straight and narrow,

after years spent in a vicious cycle of self-destructive behavior.

What happened to me on that fateful night defies any rational explanation.

And so, the only conclusion I can make is that I experienced a paranormal event.

I cannot say whether it was divine intervention or a message from beyond the grave.

These are questions for clever men than me.

And of course, many people will claim it was all in my head,

...