The Main Trap For An Anxiously Attached Man—And How To Escape It
ManTalks Podcast
Connor Beaton
4.8 • 591 Ratings
🗓️ 13 March 2025
⏱️ 16 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Talking points: relationships, attachment
There's one significant trap a lot of men fall into when they're anxiously attached. Good news? It's manageable—as long as you know where it's coming from. If you or your partner has this attachment style, dig in.
(00:00:00) - Defining the trap, and why it happens
(00:04:29) - What you’re really up against, and the first step in escaping the trap
(00:09:15) - Uncovering where it shows up in your relationship, and taking action
(00:12:09) - Don’t just practice in the relationship, and what causes blacksliding
***
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Mentioned in this episode:
Self Worth
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | What is the main trap of the anxious attached man? There's a trap that I see happening for every single |
| 0:13.5 | anxious attachment I'm going to teach you about today and I teach you how to escape it because this |
| 0:18.8 | trap is the thing that holds you in your anxious attachment. |
| 0:24.4 | I'm going to define what caused it, what actually created it in your upbringing. |
| 0:28.9 | Talk about how it shows up in your relationship and then how to break it. |
| 0:33.7 | So here's the simple anxious trap. |
| 0:36.7 | Okay. |
| 0:37.2 | I want something. |
| 0:38.8 | I need something relationally. |
| 0:41.9 | Asking for it is uncomfortable. |
| 0:44.7 | I am afraid of rejection. |
| 0:47.0 | And so instead of being direct, I am going to do something to try and get my need met or my want met without asking directly. |
| 0:58.6 | I'll do backflips for it. I will create what Dr. Robert Glover calls covert contracts. So I'll do |
| 1:05.7 | things for you. I'll do things for my partner. I'll go above and beyond. I'll try and be the best |
| 1:10.7 | boyfriend or husband |
| 1:11.5 | that I can possibly be so that hopefully you will know that I need something and you will just give |
| 1:18.4 | it to me in return. You'll be a mind reader. You'll figure it out. And then you'll meet my needs. Okay, |
| 1:24.0 | that's the trap of the anxious, right? This is the trap of the anxious attached man. |
| 1:30.9 | He runs around in circles. |
| 1:32.1 | He does backflips. |
| 1:33.1 | He takes on so much responsibility in the relationship. |
| 1:36.5 | He tries to do everything in his power. |
... |
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