The Legacy of a Calm Father Kirk Martin Ep 210
Don't Mom Alone Podcast
Don't Mom Alone Podcast
4.9 • 2.3K Ratings
🗓️ 11 June 2018
⏱️ 58 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
We’ve talked a lot about calm parenting techniques on GCM in the past. It’s something many of us moms have seen work. But this episode is one you may want to listen to and invite your hubby to as well!
Founder of Celebrate Calm, Kirk Martin, shares the powerful story of how he went from an angry, tough dad to a calm, coaching dad and why a dad’s role in parenting is so important.
I believe this to be true most of the time. If you do not change and if you do not forge that connection with your son, most of those boys will grow up and become angry young men… And I would tell the men too if you have a daughter and if she doesn’t know that you like her. And that you accept her as she is even if she is difficult. I guarantee when she gets to her teenage years she’s going to seek a man’s affection in some teenage boy.
What we chat about:- Getting dads onboard with Calm Parenting techniques.
- Working with strong-willed children and how anger and tough punishments don’t work.
- Fear of failure as a parent is a strong motivator for us in discipline.
- Kids need to know that we can control ourselves as parents even when they are out control.
- Discipline means to teach, not to punish.
- It’s important to build trust with our kids so they know we have their best interests at heart.
- The idea of first-time obedience and whether it’s Biblical.
- Strong-willed children may never listen the first time and may do things their own way (but still obey).
- How our struggle to obey God often mirrors our kids’ struggle to obey.
- Leading our kids to contrition instead of demanding an apology.
- Coaching and role playing with our kids to teach them how to respond better in emotional situations.
- Think of calm techniques as a different tactic for problem solving.
- It’s ok to give in from time to time to keep from going crazy (not the same as being “soft”).
- Try doing the opposite of what you are doing now and see what the response is.
- Men’s CD or download: “I Want To Be A Good Dad & Husband!” (2 CDs, 2 hours)
- How to Stop Yelling, Lecturing & Power Struggles Episode 62
- Calmly Parenting the Strong Willed Child Episode 69
- Summer (& Sibling) Survival Guide Episode 77
- How to Stay Calm with School Stress Episode 88
- Q & A with Kirk Martin Episode 104
- 10 Ways to Stop Meltdowns & Arguments Episode 139
**Amazon affiliate link
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey y'all welcome back to the God Center Mom Podcast. I'm your host Heather McFadden and |
| 0:09.9 | this is the place where we remind you through mentorship, friendship and discipleship |
| 0:13.9 | that you don't mom alone. And this episode, number 210, I think we could say don't parent |
| 0:19.9 | alone since Kirk Martin is coming on here to help dads leave a legacy of a calm father. |
| 0:26.2 | I like the soft approach men, you know what you're good at, right? You're a good guy, |
| 0:31.1 | men are good guys and they want to be good dads. We just don't always know how to do it. |
| 0:36.6 | And it feels so foreign to us. It's like, oh it's so hard. I guarantee I'm 52 now and |
| 0:42.8 | I've built a pretty successful business. When I look back on my life, I don't get |
| 0:47.2 | business stuff. It's easy to me. It's looking back and saying, man, I changed the relationship |
| 0:53.2 | with my son. And my son and I now, he's 24 and throughout his 10 years, I love that relationship |
| 0:59.5 | that I have with him. And it was all built not on him obeying me. It was built on me for |
| 1:05.1 | changing. A man who's willing to change himself is a man who changes the world because it's |
| 1:12.3 | a really cool thing. If you're a new listener of the GCM podcast, you may not know that Kirk |
| 1:17.9 | Martin has been on this show almost as many times as Alec Baldwin has hosted as an |
| 1:23.0 | audience. Okay, maybe not that many times. But he has been on a lot in every one of those |
| 1:27.4 | episodes. I have linked in the show notes for this episode. Who is Kirk Martin? Well, |
| 1:32.0 | he is the founder of celebrate calm.com. He is giving parents strategies to stop yelling, |
| 1:40.0 | defiance and power struggles. Today, he's sharing his story about the home he grew up in, |
| 1:44.8 | a high authority home with Latsa yelling and how he was carrying those methods into his |
| 1:48.6 | own parenting. And he's going to give dads a little pep talk to help them change the legacy |
| 1:54.5 | they're leaving in their home. Okay, moms and dads, if you are looking for a way to connect |
| 1:59.7 | with your kids or maybe with your friends or maybe your neighbors and have some deeper |
... |
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