The Labor Of Love

Throughline

NPR

Documentary, Society & Culture, History

4.6 • 16.4K Ratings

🗓️ 22 June 2023

⏱️ 53 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

There's a powerful fantasy in American society: the fantasy of the ideal mother. This mother is devoted to her family above all else. She raises the kids, volunteers at the school, cleans the house, plans the birthday parties, cares for her own parents. She's a natural nurturer. And she's happy to do it all for free. Problem is? She's imaginary. And yet the idea of her permeates our culture, our economy, and our social policy – and it distorts them. The U.S. doesn't have universal health insurance or universal childcare. We don't have federally mandated paid family leave or a meaningful social safety net for when times get rough. Instead, we have this imaginary mother. We've structured our society as though she exists — but she doesn't. And we all pay the real-life price.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	You know, I felt like I did all the things that you're supposed to do.
0:03.4	I read all of the books and I went to the prenatal classes.
0:07.5	And I felt like pretty well educated, I guess.
0:13.4	And then...
0:19.7	My son arrived.
0:26.4	When he was born, he was five pounds, twelve ounces.
0:30.0	And when they put him on my chest for the first time,
0:33.6	I just said, he's so tiny, he's so tiny.
0:41.0	I, of course, like, was overwhelmed with joy and awe
0:46.0	and wonder at this little creature.
0:51.6	That sentiment of like, wow, he's so small and vulnerable.
0:57.7	And now I'm in charge of him really was also very big for me.
1:08.1	The transition to parenthood is like a really powerful time of growth.
1:16.5	But in any kind of growth, there's a cost to it.
1:21.8	And I just, I felt a lot of worry.
1:28.4	Mother, you promised to have to arrange six a clock.
1:33.4	You need to be around that baby, around the clock.
1:36.0	You're not compensated and all of a sudden you're paying.
1:38.5	Motherhood is a hard, unending trauma.
1:41.3	We got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got.
1:42.7	The United States is one of just seven countries in the world.
1:45.6	Without national paid maternity leave.
	...

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