Hi and welcome back to the Carol Markowitz show on I-Heart Radio. It's been a week since

Thanksgiving and in having conversations with friends and acquaintances about their experiences,

I realize that there's a level of misunderstanding of what people mean when they talk about focusing on the

family or family meaning everything. I think there's an expectation that everything in

those families, the ones made up of people who prioritize

family in their lives, is perfect. Everyone always gets along with their entire family.

Everyone loves their in-law's, no one ever argues or gives a cold shoulder or

silent treatment or anything like that. I'm here to assure you that that's not so.

Family is everything to me, but it's hilarious to imagine that

means we're some kind of sitcom family that never has strife. My mom traveled from New York to Florida, got to my house. We had missed each other so much and we're so happy to see each other after several months apart that we got directly into a fight. Families get on each other's nerves and they irritate each other.

They argue about politics and they argue about who makes the best stuffing and they argue about

nothing at all. They ask invasive questions. and they ask

ask invasive questions and know just the right sensitive spot to probe to annoy each other.

That's a typical family.

The idea that there exists a perfect family out there somewhere

that never has any of that is deeply unrealistic. But if you do it right, then you

love each other and you have fun together despite all that.

And look, families break apart.

I know a lot of families who have.

So when I talk about family first or prioritizing family, I get that it's not quite as easy as that.

You may want to prioritize family, but you have a crappy relative who's just terrible and you have to cut them off.

That doesn't mean you have failed at prioritizing family.

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