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Speaking of Psychology

The invisible work of being a daughter, with Allison Alford, PhD

Speaking of Psychology

Kim Mills

Science, Life Sciences, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.5839 Ratings

🗓️ 4 February 2026

⏱️ 37 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

For many women, being a daughter is not just a family role – it’s a lifelong job. Dr. Allison Alford discusses what she calls “daughtering”: the work of managing family dynamics, from coordinating schedules to soothing emotions to worrying about a parent’s future. She discusses why these expectations fall on daughters; why the work often goes unrecognized; the role of birth order and “eldest daughter syndrome”; and how daughters and families can rethink their roles to make them sustainable and fulfilling for everyone. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

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0:22.2

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0:26.1

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0:29.7

For many women, being a daughter is not just a family role.

0:34.1

It's a lifelong job.

0:36.3

From coordinating family holiday schedules to mediating arguments,

0:40.8

a, quote, good daughter, unquote, is often expected to act as the glue that binds a family

0:46.2

together. Today we're going to talk to a researcher who studies what she calls daughtering

0:51.0

about the work of being a daughter. Why is this labor so often invisible to families

0:57.3

and to women themselves?

0:59.4

How does daughtering affect women's mental health and identity?

1:02.7

How does it change over the lifespan,

1:04.7

from childhood to middle age?

1:07.2

What role does birth order play

1:09.2

is eldest daughter syndrome a real thing?

1:12.2

And how can daughters and families rethink these roles to make them sustainable and fulfilling for everyone?

1:22.0

Welcome to Speaking of Psychology, the flagship podcast of the American Psychological Association that examines

1:28.4

the links between psychological science and everyday life. I'm Kim Mills.

1:36.2

My guest today is Dr. Allison Alford, a clinical associate professor at the Baylor University

1:42.5

Hankemer School of Business. She holds a PhD in

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