We are Ken Jennings and John Roderick. We speak to you from our present, which we can only assume is your distant past, the turbulent time that was the early 21st century.

Fearing the great cataclysm that will surely befall our civilization, we began this

monumental reference of strange and obscure human knowledge.

These recordings represent our attempt to compile and preserve wonders and esoterica that would otherwise be lost.

So whether you're listening from an advanced civilization or have just reinvented the technology to decrypt our transmissions,

this is our legacy to you. This is our time capsule. This is the omnibus. Oh, You have accessed entry 654. I S. 4316 certificate number 34332, the International Cable Protection Committee.

The Internet is not something that you just dump something on, it's not a big truck. It's a series of tubes.

You use the internet. I have never used the internet. Come on. I've used it once or twice.

For porn. A hundred percent for porn.

No, that is one of the leading uses of the internet,

but not in my office.

In my office it's mostly looking up baseball statistics and epidemiological charts.

Are you a, are you a saber metrics guy?

Yeah, just I don't want to get too far into the weeds, but I definitely had a time in my youth when I was just laser focused on

Baseball statistics. And not baseball, but you know all sports statistics and how they were being done wrong and you know

different kinds of analysis that I was just fascinated.

I've gone to baseball games with you and you don't sit and

score the game I used to I've had to kind of I had to kind of break myself out because I can't

really chat with the person I'm with because I'm always like was that double play

three four five you know yeah I've I've gone to

games with friends that score the game and yeah it's like why am I here is it Ben

Gibbard has scored games.

...