The Infidelity Episodes, Part 4: The Other Woman

Dear Sugars

WBUR

Boston, Wbur, Sugar, Cheryl Strayed, Society & Culture, Dear, Relationships, Advice, Steve Almond

4.6 • 5.9K Ratings

🗓️ 23 May 2017

⏱️ 48 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In our Infidelity series thus far, we've heard from the cheaters, from those who have been cheated on, and from a psychotherapist and expert on the topic. In this final installment, the Sugars focus on the often-overlooked experience of "the other woman" and the moral responsibility that comes with the role. They discuss with the novelist and biographer Susan Cheever, who was "the other woman" in an affair...twice.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, Sugar Fans, we are going to be taking some time off to work on new episodes and we'll be back this summer with a brand new season of Dear Sugar Radio.
0:08.8	That's right, we'll be releasing episodes in seasons going forward and we have some more exciting developments on the horizon that we can't quite tell you about yet but we will soon.
0:17.4	And now listen, there's something you can do in the meantime for us though because you listeners are the reason we love making this show more than anything.
0:24.9	And we want you to actually be a part of planning what shows we do moving ahead. So if you have an idea for an episode, write to us at Dear Sugar Radio at gmail.com and put show idea in the subject line.
0:36.3	We're going to be listening back during this little break to some of our favorite episodes of Dear Sugar Radio. Enjoy and stay tuned.
0:44.3	Dear Sugar is supported by...
0:47.5	The universe has good news for the lost, lonely, and heart sick. Sugar is here, the both of us speaking straight into your ears. I'm Cheryl Strait.
1:03.3	I'm Steve Almond, this is Dear Sugar Radio.
1:06.7	Oh Dear Song, won't you please?
1:13.7	Share some better sweet days with me.
1:21.7	I check my bedbugs every day.
1:28.7	Oh And Dear Sugar, you see in my way.
1:38.7	Steve...
1:39.7	Cheryl...
1:40.7	Have you ever been the third point in an infidelity triangle by which I mean the other man?
1:49.7	No. I wanted to. I crushed hard on a married woman and had in fact a beautiful but chilling experience with this woman who I had crushed on for years.
2:03.7	And then I went to visit this couple and they were going through a certain kind of upheaval and late one night nothing ever happened but I felt for the first time after the husband had gone to bed.
2:15.7	There was a moment that I you know have commemorated in some awful poem and thought about for years where I realized that this person who I had psychically been chasing around for so long and coveting was actually because of turmoil within her marriage ready to have physical sexual contact with me or at least it seemed very clear and I got very frightened and kind of freaked out by it.
2:41.7	My bluff was called and I backed away from the situation but it has been rattling around inside for you know it still is because it was a real moment of realizing that I was transgressing and unlike many third points I knew both and loved and still loved both of those people.
3:00.7	Is that why you backed away because of your your allegiance to the husband?
3:05.7	I think unconsciously what I wanted was to get married and be in a happy marriage and the moment I saw that this happy marriage was like most marriages not so happy I felt very frightened and disillusioned.
3:19.7	Yeah.
	...

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