The High Cost of 'I'm Fine': The Truth About High-Functioning Anxiety and Invisible Depression
On Health for Women
Aviva Romm
4.8 • 1.4K Ratings
🗓️ 4 June 2025
⏱️ 62 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Most women don’t look like they’re falling apart—even when they’re struggling to stay afloat. We keep it all going: raising kids, showing up for work, taking care of everyone else—while silently carrying stress, grief, trauma, and anxiety. And all that holding it together? It comes at a cost.
In this heart-opening episode of On Health, Aviva sits down with UK-based psychotherapist and author Helen Marie to explore:
🔹 Why high-functioning anxiety, burnout, and people-pleasing often go unseen
🔹 How supresseds stress lives in the body—and what our nervous systems are trying to tell us
🔹 The basics of Polyvagal Theory and how to map your nervous system
🔹 What it means to “meet your nervous system where it’s at”
🔹 Somatic practices like tapping and cupping to gently bring your body back to safety
🔹 The quiet power of journaling, boundaries, and emotional truth
🔹 How to take one small step toward choosing you—without guilt or shame
This episode is for anyone who’s ever whispered “I’m fine” while quietly falling apart—and is ready to begin reclaiming calm, connection, and self-worth, one kind breath at a time.
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Mentioned in this episode:
Looking for supplements for yourself and your family, including some of those I talk about in episodes? You can find those - and your 15% discount on every order here: avivaromm.com/supplements
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | From the stuff your mother never told you to the stuff your doctor never learn, |
| 0:09.0 | on health is what happens when a midwife plus a Yale trained MD shares about all things |
| 0:14.3 | women's health. |
| 0:15.4 | From periods to menopause, sex to reproductive health politics, motherhood to mental health, |
| 0:23.1 | join me for taboo-busting conversations that demystify and destigmatize our bodies, all while bridging the gap between conventional |
| 0:28.4 | medicine and wellness. Along the way, we'll be exploring the science and wisdom of how our bodies |
| 0:33.5 | work, what makes us well, what gets in the way, and how we can live our best lives on our |
| 0:39.2 | terms. When it comes to women's health and well-being, there's nothing we won't talk about. |
| 0:44.1 | The new medicine for women is here. I'm Dr. Avivaram. Welcome to the podcast. |
| 1:01.5 | Most of you don't know this, but in my medical practice, I put perfectionism, burnout, |
| 1:07.8 | people pleasing, fawning, and freezing, high on the list of questions I ask my patients about. |
| 1:12.2 | Because when we're stuck in these modes, feeling all these different feelings, |
| 1:18.2 | these not only impact our ability to do things that we need to heal and actually enjoy doing those things, because I see so many women get stressed and perfectionistic about that, |
| 1:22.8 | but they also have a huge impact on our internal state. When we're in those modes, this can impact |
| 1:28.9 | everything from our immunity to our heart health, our hormones, to our metabolism, our sleep, |
| 1:34.1 | to our mood. And here's the thing. Most women don't look like they're falling apart, |
| 1:39.1 | even when we feel like we are. We're raising kids, running households, showing up to work, taking care of |
| 1:46.2 | everyone else, while so many of us, and yes, I say we and I say us, because I'm in here with you |
| 1:52.3 | too, are carrying silent grief, anxiety, and trauma. I'm Dr. Vivaram, herbalist, and midwife, |
| 1:59.5 | and welcome to this episode, the high cost of I'm |
| 2:02.9 | fine when your nervous system breaks the silence. |
| 2:06.5 | This episode is for all of us. |
... |
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