The Hidden Pressure Your Kids Feel About Money

Kosher Money

Living Lchaim

Judaism, Religion & Spirituality

4.9 • 843 Ratings

🗓️ 10 March 2026

⏱️ 103 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Why do kids feel like everyone else has more?

In this thoughtful and eye-opening conversation, Rabbi Ari Schonfeld shares practical insights on parenting, money, social pressure, and how children develop their sense of self in a world filled with comparisons.

From growing up in a home with very little, to leading a yeshiva and running a summer camp, Rabbi Schonfeld offers a rare perspective on what kids actually notice about money — and what parents often underestimate.

When do children start comparing themselves to others? Why do brands, vacations, and clothing suddenly matter so much? And how can parents raise kids who feel confident and proud of their values, even when they can’t have everything their friends have?

Along the way, Rabbi Schonfeld shares powerful stories about childhood, school environments, parenting challenges, and one unforgettable moment when a teenager said something that stopped him in his tracks: “I don’t want his trips. I want him.”

This is an honest conversation about money, parenting, pressure, and what kids really want from the people raising them.

I’m grateful to have had this conversation with Rabbi Ari Schonfeld.

R’ Ari’s podcast can be found on:

Apple - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-learning-curve-mishpacha/id1744827367

Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/5ISRvKPoVS77dZqbbDNx1e?si=RnoE0DF9RLuAbHQbYAqYWA

Here is Rabbi Aryeh Lebowitz’s phenomenal talk on betting: https://youtu.be/ahvN4L-fDQQ

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Kosher Money is the bi-weekly podcast from Living Lchaim, hosted by Eli Langer.

#KosherMoney #JewishParenting #RabbiAriSchonfeld #JewishWisdom #MoneyAndParenting #TorahPerspective #LivingLchaim #EliLanger #CampAish #KosherMoneyPodcast #JewishLife #KM

Transcript

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0:00.0	Money shows up in parenting in ways we don't always expect. I'm not talking about tuition.
0:04.5	I'm talking about conversations around clothing, vacations, midwinter vacations, what other kids have,
0:10.2	what your kids wish they had, and how all of that affects your child's self-esteem.
0:15.8	At what point do kids start noticing those differences? And how much should parents talk about money with their
0:21.8	children, right? The age-old question. How do you raise kids who feel proud of their family's values,
0:27.4	even if they can't have everything their friends have? We've all been there. Rabbi Ari Schoenfeld
0:32.5	has spent years thinking about these questions. He's the principal slash menahal of the yeshiva. He runs a summer camp.
0:39.7	He's a rabbi and he's someone who grew up in a home where money was tight, but values were strong.
0:45.8	In this conversation, we talk about the pressure kids feel today the mistakes parents sometimes make
0:51.3	when responding to that pressure and one powerful idea that might change
0:56.2	the way you think about what your kids really want from you. It's a thoughtful, honest conversation
1:02.2	about money, parenting, and the awesome values we pass on to the next generation. Here's my
1:08.4	conversation with Rabbi Ari Schoenfeld.
1:15.9	I'm sitting here with a good old friend, Rabbi Ari Schoenfeld.
1:19.6	Way back in Eric Estrelle, we spent some time together.
1:20.5	How are you?
1:21.9	Nice to be here, Ellie.
1:24.1	You have a podcast yourself?
1:24.8	I do.
1:25.5	I do.
1:28.4	Maybe one day our podcast will be as successful as kos of Money. It's the learning curve with myself. My co-host about your Achmila Garfield.
1:34.9	It's produced by Meshbach magazine. So I've been behind the mic. I'm usually asking the questions.
	...

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