I'm a Sahihpe, Global Head of Corporate Engagement and President of the Goldman Sachs Foundation. I'm excited that today's episode of Undistracted

is brought to you by Goldman Sachs 10,000 small businesses,

which helps entrepreneurs create jobs

and economic opportunity

by providing access to education, capital and business support services.

Later in the episode you'll hear from one of our program graduates and learn more about their

business and experiences. To learn more or apply to Goldman Sachs 10,000 small

businesses, visit GS.com slash 10Ks B. And Hey y'all it's Brittany. One of the things that mattered most to me when I

knew I was going to become a mom, was not passing on my bad habits.

I mean, like, yeah, I want him to make the bed every morning because I certainly do not.

But it's beyond chores for me. There are traits I've had to unlearn in short order because I need him to be better than me.

My biggest Achilles heel is people pleasing.

I think I've told you all that before, right? Now, through lots of therapy and coaching, I know that people pleasing is actually for me a trauma response based on loss. After my dad died when I was 12, I subconsciously thought that making

people happy would keep them around, and that way I wouldn't have to lose anyone else that I loved.

It kept me entirely too long in what turned out to be some emotionally and

narcissically abusive relationships, ones that never got physical, but most certainly left their mark.

And yet, perhaps the most persistent, most narcissistic relationship I've been in my whole life is my relationship to whiteness.

It was the social default that told me I was never good enough, never desirable enough

or intelligent enough or accomplished enough,

and the social pressure to assimilate to its attributes

had me second-guessing myself and shirking my culture in far too many instances.

Too often, the people I was pleasing

...