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Motherkind

The Hidden Cost of Being the Selfless One

Motherkind

Zoe Blaskey

Kids & Family, Parenting

4.8 • 863 Ratings

🗓️ 22 January 2026

⏱️ 35 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

If the word “selfish” makes you uncomfortable… this episode is for you. In this conversation, Zoe is joined by Suzy Reading for a deeply reassuring exploration of what mothers truly need – and why self-care alone is often insufficient. Together, they talk about how so many women have been conditioned to put themselves last, why resting, saying no or asking for help can feel so hard, and how unmet needs often show up as guilt, resentment or snapping at the people we love most. Suzy shares the thinking behind her new book How to Be Selfish, gently reframing “selfishness” as self-advocacy – and offers simple, practical ways to reconnect with yourself, calm your nervous system and let yourself matter too. In this episode, you’ll learn about: Why self-care alone isn’t enough – and how learning to receive care changes everything How motherhood and conditioning pull us away from our own needs (and why that matters) Why guilt, resentment and “shouty mum” moments are signals, not failures Simple, compassionate ways to reconnect with yourself and remember that you matter too 💛 This is a compassionate, validating listen for any mother who feels stretched thin, disconnected from herself, or quietly carrying too much. Remember to subscribe to Motherkind — it helps more mothers find the show and keeps our community growing. Feeling different since becoming a mother? Get clarity on who you’re becoming now and  download your FREE Matrescence Cheat Sheet If you liked this episode, listen to this next: 100s of self-care practices tested and the ones that work with The Self Care Club Connect with Zoe: Follow Zoe on Instagram  Get Zoe’s Sunday Times bestselling book, 'Motherkind: A New Way to Thrive in a World of Endless Expectations’ This Motherkind episode is sponsored by: Headline sponsor Wild Nutrition, the brand raising the bar for women’s supplements. Want to feel the Food-Grown difference yourself? Get 50% off for three months at wildnutrition.com/motherkind. Ts and Cs apply. For a £100 sponsored job credit, visit Indeed.com/ Motherkind Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome back to Motherkind. It is me, your host, Zoe. We are proudly sponsored by Wild Nutrition's

0:13.8

Women's Supplements. My guest today is making the case for us all to be a little bit more selfish.

0:20.2

And if you find that word triggering,

0:22.2

then it's actually supposed to be. It's one of our biggest fears, isn't it, of being called

0:26.6

selfish. But Susie Redding is a psychologist and prolific author. And she is here to nudge us

0:33.5

towards the idea that actually being a little bit more selfish helps not only us but our families

0:40.7

and yes, our children too. Susie tells us that being selfish is actually about advocating for

0:46.1

our own needs. It's about building up that relationship with ourselves. So in this episode,

0:51.1

you're going to learn how to give yourself the same love and tenderness

0:54.5

that you so effortlessly give to others. You're going to be able to remove the barriers. Susie tells us

0:59.8

how to accept help much more easily. And if you have no idea what your needs are now, if you feel

1:06.0

so far away from what do I need, Susie gives us such a simple little tool that can instantly

1:12.7

connect you back to yourself. Please remember to subscribe. It helps you because you never miss an

1:18.8

episode and it helps me because you never miss an episode. So I hope you love it. Here's the

1:23.1

episode. I'd like to take this moment to thank our headline sponsor, Wild Nutrition,

1:32.0

who are offering Motherkind listeners 50% off for the first three months.

1:37.1

When I was pregnant with my first 10 years ago, I asked a few nutritionists, friends,

1:41.9

what's the best pregnancy supplement?

1:43.3

And they all said

1:44.6

the same thing, wild nutrition. So I listened. And these incredible supplements have kept me

1:50.1

feeling great through two pregnancies, starting this podcast, writing a book, a relocation,

1:55.0

and everything in between for the last decade. So it's magical to me that I now get to tell

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