I gotta be honest guys, I'm not too excited about this one, but I am at the same time.

It's been something that I've been dealing with for quite some time now, and it's always

been a really hard thing in my head to understand and to feel.

You see, about three years ago, I was in a relationship, four years, three or four years

ago, I don't know, a while ago, I was in a relationship that was the most real relationship

that I've ever had, I've never really had a real one, right?

This one made my heart spin, and I was very, very happy and I got crushed at the end.

Long story short, I got my heart broken, and then I went on this rampage of like finding

out who I was, I watched so many videos of like, okay, how to get back out there after

being broken up with, and it was like meeting new people, right?

So I did that, and I didn't do it in like a aggressive way or anything like that, like

I don't want to sound like, fuck it, I don't care what I sound like.

I lost myself for a little bit, not a lot of people do, and I tried to find myself,

I tried to find myself through different people, I tried to find myself through myself,

I tried to do whatever I could, drinking, partying, going out and having fun, and waking up

besides somebody that I didn't even know.

Now this wasn't an everyday thing, it wasn't even a monthly thing, but it happened enough

times for me to remember it, and it brought me to a really, really top spot of understanding

what I deserve and understanding where I should place myself in this world, in my head

and where my love lies, and in my first book, What's the Rush, I run in my second one now,

I talk about how I knew that people would fall in love with me, I talk about how I

knew I was going to break their heart, I talk about how hard it was to love somebody else,

...