Hello and welcome to the Anthropocene Reviewed, a podcast where we reviewed different facets

of the Human-Centered Planet on a 5-star scale, even if we have a cold. My name is John

Green and today I'll be reviewing the Hall of Presidents, a purported attraction at Disney

World, and also a 1995 song called New Partner by the band Howis Music.

But let's begin with the Hall of Presidents. While Disney World's Magic Kingdom, the

world's most visited theme park, cast a long shadow over my childhood home of Orlando, Florida,

it was strange to grow up a few minutes away from the most magical place on Earth. Orlando

was such a touristy when I was a kid that whenever you flew out of the airport, a message

played saying, we hope you enjoyed your visit, to which my parents would always sigh and

then mutter. We live here.

I first visited the park in 1981 when I was four and it was ten. At first, I loved the

Magic Kingdom. I remember meeting Goofy as a young child and allowing myself to believe

that this was actually Goofy. I remember getting scared on the snow white ride and feeling

big because I could ride Thunder Mountain, and I remember being so tired at the end of

the day that I had slept with my face pressed against the glass of our Volkswagen Rabbit.

But then I got older. As a teenager, I began to define myself primarily by what I disliked

and my loathes were legion. I hated children's books, the music of Mariah Carey, suburban

houses, and all forms of sport. But most of all, I hated Disney World. My friends and I had

a word for the artificiality and corporatized fantasy of pop music and theme parks and

cheerful movies. We called all of it plastic. The TV show Full House was plastic. The

Cure's new stuff was kind of plastic. And Disney World? God, Disney World was so plastic.

This period of my life coincided with a terrible blessing. My mother won a Community Service

...