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Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

This is Captain Michael Vaughn from the flight deck here at the Hackney Empire.

Thank you for flying with tail-enders tonight.

In the highly and likely events of an emergency, you will hear the word,

Spice, Spice, Spice. When you do so, we advise you to adopt the brace position.

In case of landing on water, a set of roller-solves will drop from the panel of your head

for you to wear instead of any high-heeled shoes so you don't burst the evacuation slide.

Mango jackets are stored under the seating front of you.

Please tend to your own jacket first, for helping others, with their,

and do not zip them up until you leave the aircraft.

Otherwise, looking pretty clear up here, but we advise you to keep your seat belt loosely

fastened, because we know it can get spicy very quickly.

We will begin tonight's show in a few moments time, and it will be recorded for a broadcast.

Live shredding will also be taken place, so watch your fingers.

Also, matching has specifically requested that there's no flash photography.

Other than that, sit back, relax, enjoy your complimentary falafel, and enjoy the show.

I've been Captain Vaughn, and thank you for having me on the introduction of Tail Enders Live.

Tail Enders!

Oh, ready?

Tail Enders!

Oh, ready?

...