This is the Guardian.

Hi, pod fans. Max here. Barry's here too.

Hello.

Football Weekly is supported by Sainsbury's.

Sainsbury's is teaming up with comic relief this Christmas

to help nourish the nation and tackle food poverty.

They're encouraging customers to become super secret centers

by donating to comic relief in store and online.

And what's more,

Sainsbury's are matching your donations to comic relief

up to the value of £1.5 million.

That's great for a generous.

I know it should be a secret,

but what would you get me if it was a secret center?

Well, I think I'd kill two birds with one stone, Max.

I'd buy you a copy of Inverting the Pyramid.

I'll wrap that up, give it to you.

By, you know, Inverting the Pyramid, by our friend, John Wilson.

Then I would keep the receipt and I would put that in a card

and it would send it to him.

And I suspect he would get more joy out of the fact

that he's going to make a couple of pounds out of me than you would

...