The Golden Rules of Anxiety Recovery and Desensitization (Episode 143)
Disordered: Anxiety Help
Josh Fletcher and Drew Linsalata
4.9 • 665 Ratings
🗓️ 6 February 2026
⏱️ 41 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This episode of Disordered examines the fundamental "Golden Rules" of anxiety desensitization. Josh and Drew break down two core principles designed to guide long term desensitization for those struggling with panic disorder, agoraphobia, OCD, and health anxiety. They move away from promising cures or quick fixes, focusing instead on changing the listener's relationship with discomfort.
Rule One: Do what non-anxious you would do while anxious. The guys explain that this involves engaging in life tasks regardless of the presence of fear.
Rule Two: Don’t make anxiety the most important thing in the room. While anxiety is allowed to be present, it should not sit at the top of the decision making tree. Desensitization happens when values and intentions are prioritized over the urge to monitor internal feelings.
Acceptance vs. Control: Josh and Drew discuss the necessity of recognizing that attempts to control or escape anxiety are often ineffective. They advocate for psychological flexibility, where a person learns to be with difficult internal experiences rather than fighting them.
The Power of Agency: The guys emphasize that even in highly sensitized states, individuals retain agency over their attention. They describe how to tolerate physical symptoms without letting those sensations govern behavior.
"Did It Anyway" Stories: The episode features community members who applied these rules during high stakes moments like public speaking or travel. These stories serve to encourage others to face fears that are uncomfortable but not dangerous.
Josh and Drew frame desensitization as a journey requiring patience and persistence rather than a destination reached through "hacks" or secret solutions. This episode provides a practical framework for listeners ready to stop avoiding their feelings and start moving forward.
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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is now available. If you're struggling with health anxiety, this book is for you.
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Want a way to ask questions about this episode or interact with other Disordered listeners? The Disordered community space is nearing release! Visit our home page and get on our mailing list for more information..
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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out Worry and Rumination Explained, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolvable problems.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | No matter what your anxiety is, do what non-anxious you would do in brackets whilst anxious. Don't make anxiety the most important thing in the room. If it is at the top of the decision-making tree, how do I feel? Then you are much less likely to do what non-anxious you might do. Now, don't get wrong, you're going to be checking on your anxiety. You're going to check in on how you feel. That's automatic. That's okay. But notice that and bring it back to what do I want to be more important than? You cannot say, I'll do what non-anxious me would do. And let me see if I can make something else more important to me attached maybe to my values, what matters more to me or leads me toward recovery or desensitization if you |
| 0:38.0 | also are somehow hanging on to but it feels so bad i'm going to have to at least consider |
| 0:43.3 | that trying so hard to control this it gets all of my attention and it governs what i do isn't |
| 0:47.9 | working for me welcome to disordered this is episode 143 Today we're going to talk about the golden rules of anxiety. And it's going to be a good one. So stay tuned. I am Drew Linzalata. I am one half of Disordered. I'm a therapist that specializes in the treatment of anxiety and anxiety disorders practicing in New York. I have a four-time author on this topic, podcaster, psychoeducator, former sufferer |
| 1:11.6 | or the stuff that we talked about on disordered, but better now. Thank you very much. And, |
| 1:15.3 | yeah, I'm joined as always from across the pond by... |
| 1:18.6 | Hi, my name's Josh. That's all you're going to get. I don't need to wax on about myself and |
| 1:23.4 | my achievements like my co-host, just Josh. |
| 1:29.3 | Why is that so funny to me? |
| 1:32.3 | I'm a therapist and author based in the Manchester in the UK. |
| 1:37.1 | And today I'm going to talk about the golden rules of anxiety desensitization. |
| 1:43.0 | Any one of my clients listening or previous clients, well, probably not listening because |
| 1:48.3 | you're probably cracking on and doing stuff. |
| 1:51.5 | But if you have checked in, we'll know that I always bang on about the two golden |
| 1:55.9 | rules of anxiety desensitization. |
| 1:59.0 | I used to say the two rules of anxiety recovery, but I, like |
| 2:03.6 | said in previous episode, have completely erased that word from my lexicon. I think the more and more |
| 2:09.1 | I think about that word, the more it's not good, unconsciously as well, to even have that, |
| 2:14.6 | particularly if you're someone who chases absolutism, perfection, |
| 2:21.3 | and finding a singularity. |
| 2:23.1 | No, not in a business where all emotions are welcome. |
| 2:27.9 | So, yeah, we're desensitizing ourselves with the two golden rules. |
... |
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