The Gift of Failure: Jessica Lahey
Good Life Project
Jonathan Fields / Acast
4.5 • 3.4K Ratings
🗓️ 11 August 2015
⏱️ 66 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
The average person spends an almost obscene amount of time working tirelessly to avoid failure. We're terrified that we'll put everything we have into an endeavor, only to come up short.
Failure, we're told, is something to be avoided at all costs. In some parts of life and professional cultures, it's not only frowned upon, it is fiercely punished.
So, every day, a little bit at a time, we confine ourselves into a supposedly safer and safer, smaller and smaller box with the hope of avoiding failure. We stop taking risks, go only for the most certain options and, in doing so, we destroy any semblance of life, freedom, discovery and possibility in our lives.
It's bad enough when we make these choices for ourselves. But, what happens when we impose our failure-adverse lens on our kids, students or anyone others who might look to us to figure out how to live in the world?
We end up not only teaching them to avoid failure, we also erect cages around them. Ostensibly to "protect them from both others and themselves." Sometimes, and on some levels, that may be necessary.
But, increasingly, it may do as much if not more harm than good. Because it protects them from outcomes we assume have a high-probability of happening, yet, in truth, have little or no place in reality. And even when they do happen, failure often sets the mandatory elements in motion for growth. When we kill any possibility for failure, we also kill any possibility of confidence, discovery, self-reliance and growth, all critical underpinnings of a life well-lived.
Today's guest, Jessica Lahey, knows this cycle well. As a teacher, education advocate and writer, she's been on nearly every side of this dynamic and seen the toll it takes. In January 2013, she wrote a provocative article on the topic that nearly melted the internet. She's now expanded upon her wisdom in her tremendous new book, The Gift of Failure, How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed.
Join us, and if you're inclined, share this eye-opening and deeply-informative conversation.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Fancy a fever tree and vodka. |
| 0:04.0 | Yes, vodka, not gin, because this is fever tree Mexican lime soda. |
| 0:10.0 | Yes, soda, not tonic. |
| 0:13.0 | With Mexican lime and Japanese Yuzu for a zesty, refreshing lime soda, that's just sweet enough. |
| 0:19.0 | Delicious with vodka or on its own. |
| 0:23.0 | Fever tree Mexican lime soda, mix with the best. |
| 0:28.0 | Mmm, now that hits the spot. |
| 0:35.0 | I think being a part of our kids' lives in ways that are about sharing time with them and sharing experiences with them is really, really important. |
| 0:42.0 | But taking responsibility out of their hands just does our kids it to service and robs them of a whole bunch of opportunities for them to feel that pride. |
| 0:51.0 | Moments when your parents aren't involved and you figure something out on your own. |
| 0:56.0 | Those are the moments of triumph that we tend to take away from them. |
| 1:00.0 | We spend an almost absurd amount of our lives avoiding failure. |
| 1:05.0 | We think about how do we protect against it? How do we not feel it? How do we never do things which won't work? |
| 1:13.0 | Because we're terrified of the feeling that it gives us in our bodies and our minds and we're terrified of being judged by those around us for having tried and not succeeded. |
| 1:23.0 | That alone stifles so much life. |
| 1:27.0 | But what happens when we impose our lens on failure on kids? |
| 1:33.0 | When we try to protect them from the very thing that very often is the gateway to confidence, creativity, and an extraordinary life. |
| 1:41.0 | That's what we're talking about with today's guest, Jessica Lehi, who's written a phenomenal new book called The Gift of Failure. |
| 1:49.0 | I'm Jonathan Fields. This is Good Life Project. |
| 1:55.0 | This week's episode is brought to you by CampGLP, which is short for Good Life Project. |
| 2:01.0 | We have got an incredible group. More than 300 people coming from all around the world, from the US, Asia, Australia, Europe, South Africa. |
| 2:11.0 | Really just a gorgeous collection gathering of humanity to learn to grow, to laugh, to play, have fun, amazing workshops, events, activities. |
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