The Generic Modern Football XI

For Our Sins: The Clichés Pod Archive

The Athletic

Soccer,, Sports

4.8 • 538 Ratings

🗓️ 10 March 2022

⏱️ 56 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Jack Pitt-Brooke combine their footballing intellects to perform a stock-take of football in 2022 and select the most generic lineup possible.

Among the anonymous figures on the teamsheet are a short-sleeved, side-volleying goalkeeper, a press-resistant walking yellow card of a midfield fulcrum, a false-false No 9 and a standout managerial candidate to lead them out in their bowl-shaped out-of-town megastadium...

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Transcript

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0:00.0	The Athletic
0:02.0	I'm sorry, you can sit there and look and play with all your silly machines as much as you like.
0:09.0	Is Gas going to have a crack?
0:11.0	He is, you know.
0:13.0	Oh, he's there!
0:14.0	Brilliant!
0:16.0	Jeez!
0:19.0	He's round the goalkeeper!
0:20.8	He's done it!
0:22.5	Absolutely incredible!
0:24.4	He launched himself six feet into the crowd, and Kung Fu kicked.
0:30.5	A supporter who was eyewit without a shadow of an out giving him lip.
0:35.1	Oh, I say!
0:37.0	It's amazing! It does it tame, and tame, and tame, getting him lip! Oh, I say, it's amazing.
0:38.1	It does it tame, and tame, and tame again.
0:41.1	crank up the music, charge a glass.
0:45.0	This nation is going to dance all night.
0:49.6	A short-sleeved side-volving goalkeeper,
0:52.7	a machine-like right-back, an inverted left-back,
0:55.7	an unnecessarily chalk and cheese centre-half partnership,
0:59.0	a press-resistant walking yellow card of a midfield fulcrum,
1:02.2	a Bundesliga graduate number eight with an impenetrable skill set,
	...

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