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Therapy in a Nutshell

The Freeze, Appease or Fawn Response to Sexual Violence

Therapy in a Nutshell

Therapy in a Nutshell -Emma McAdam

Mental Health, Education, Health & Fitness:mental Health, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 658 Ratings

🗓️ 4 December 2025

⏱️ 20 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Your nervous system has a built-in Freeze and Appease response to manage the threat of sexual assault, aka the Fawn response. Learn to forgive yourself and train to respond differently. Learn the skills to Regulate your Emotions, join the membership: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/membership When someone experiences sexual harassment or sexual assault, their body often doesn’t react the way they expect. Instead of fighting or running, they might freeze, fawn, or appease—smiling, complying, or going still, even when they feel terrified inside. In this video, we’ll explore the Freeze and Fawn Response—sometimes called the Freeze-Appease Response—and how these instinctive reactions are the body’s way of trying to stay safe during sexual violence or threat. You’ll learn what happens in the nervous system during a freeze response, why people can’t “just say no,” and how understanding this can help survivors release shame and start to heal. This is essential education for survivors, loved ones, and anyone who wants to understand trauma responses with compassion and science. If you’ve ever blamed yourself for how you reacted during sexual harassment or sexual assault, please know: it wasn’t your fault. Your body was trying to keep you alive. Freeze Response, Fawn Response, Freeze Appease, Sexual Violence, Sexual Assault, Tonic Immobility, Trauma Response, Nervous System, PTSD Recovery, Survivor Support Looking for affordable online counseling? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com Support my mission on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therapyinanutshell Sign up for my newsletter: https://www.therapyinanutshell.com Check out my favorite self-help books: https://kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/best-self-help-books  Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger Institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction. And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services. Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome back to another episode of the Therapy in a Nutshell podcast. I'm Emma McAdam and I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist.

0:07.0

And this podcast is all about taking the life-changing, but usually kind of complicated topics of therapy and boiling them down into simple, easy-to-understand concepts that you can use in your daily life.

0:18.8

If you find today's episode as helpful to you, please pass it on to someone else who could benefit from it as well.

0:23.6

Each podcast episode comes from a corresponding video you can find on the Therapy in a Nutshell YouTube channel.

0:28.6

Also, these podcasts are educational and don't replace the advice or direction you may be receiving from a therapist or other health professionals.

0:36.6

Now please, enjoy the episode.

0:38.8

Today's topic might seem pretty heavy, but I'm honestly excited about it because it has the

0:44.2

information that millions of people need to free themselves from shame and blame. So let me start

0:50.6

by asking you a question. What would you do in this situation? Let's say you're in a job interview and the interviewer starts to ask you inappropriate questions.

1:00.0

Do you wear bras to work? Do you consider yourself sexually desirable? What would you do?

1:06.0

Now most people say, I would tell them to stop. I would leave. I would report it. But here's the fascinating

1:11.9

thing. In 2001, there was a study with college age women. Half of them were interviewed and

1:16.9

asked what they would do if they faced sexual harassment. And 100% of those women said they

1:22.3

would resist it. They would ask the interviewer to stop. They would leave. They would report it.

1:25.7

Like, great, they know what they should do.

1:28.3

But as part of the study, the other half of the women attended a job interview and were asked

1:33.3

those inappropriate questions.

1:36.3

What percentage of them do you think told the interviewer to stop?

1:40.3

It was zero.

1:41.3

So the researchers saw a startling response in the video recordings of these interactions.

1:46.7

The women sat patiently and answered the questions while smiling.

1:50.8

And this is the crazy thing. We see a similar thing with sexual violence.

...

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