meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
Relationship Advice

The Fourth Pillar Of A Secure Relationship (Reach & Respond)

Relationship Advice

Colter Bloxom

Relationships, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.41.7K Ratings

🗓️ 26 January 2026

⏱️ 52 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Reaching and responding is the core interaction that helps couples move out of stuck, negative cycles and back toward connection. A reach is an imperfect, vulnerable sharing from the heart, and a response is a soft, attuned way of catching that vulnerability with empathy and curiosity. When couples practice this repeatedly—especially during repair after conflict—they create safety, deepen understanding, and strengthen secure attachment over time. Main Talking Points Vulnerable reaching Soft responses Create safety Shift the cycle Repair before prevent Give Me Discounts! Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ ⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. ⁠⁠⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Abercrombie knows how denim should fit and feel, and this year is about curating a denim collection that carries your closet.

0:07.7

Head straight to Abercrombie's baggy and ultra baggy fits.

0:11.1

These are the pairs that turn any tea or shirt into a full outfit.

0:15.3

All of their jeans come in classic fit with select jeans available athletic fit,

0:19.6

designed for guys who want more room in the thigh.

0:22.4

Shop Abercrombie denim in the app, online, and in stores.

0:28.9

Hey friends, welcome to relationship advice. I'm Coulter.

0:32.3

And I'm Lauren, and we will be joined with our friend Kayla in just a moment.

0:36.1

We are all licensed professional therapists and real-life friends who care deeply about helping people feel more connected in their relationships.

0:42.7

On this show, we help you make sense of these stuck spots, the patterns, the fights, the disconnections that keep showing up even when you're really putting in the work.

0:50.8

You can expect honest conversations, practical insight, and stories that help you

0:55.1

understand why things feel hard and what actually helps. Whether you're here to improve your

1:00.2

relationship, understand yourself better, or just feel a little less alone. You're in the right place.

1:05.5

Let's get into today's episode. All right, imagine a couple standing in the kitchen late at night.

1:18.6

The house is quiet and one of them finally says,

1:21.8

I feel like I don't matter to you anymore.

1:24.3

That sentence is a reach.

1:25.9

It's not polish.

1:26.8

It's not strategic. It's raw.

1:29.3

Underneath it are emotion, meaning, and a tender spot that's been brushed up against too

1:33.2

many times. Now, imagine two possible responses. In one version, the other person hears criticism

1:40.0

and fires back with facts. That's not true. I do plenty. You're being unfair. The cycle tightens.

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Colter Bloxom, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Colter Bloxom and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.