Welcome to the Marriage Day podcast. I'm Jimmy Evans. This is my wife Karen. We're so glad that you're joining us. We're now beginning a four week series on a topic called I am Abraham. We're talking about the faith of Abraham and how to have your marriage and family blessed by the issue of faith, which is huge.

And so before we do that, we're going to do some answer some questions from some of you guys that write these in. By the way, if you want to submit a question to us, it's just marriage today podcast.com. Submit your question. We would love to answer it right here on the podcast.

Karen, let me begin with you. My husband is liking photos on social media of other women he is friends with. This makes me uncomfortable. How do I talk to him about this?

Yeah, that's a good question. I think there's a lot of couples out there that have a problem with this because, you know, it's one thing to like people on social media, but it's another thing if it's women, you know, that I mean, I can understand why she would have, you know, issues of trust. It's, you know, why?

But I don't do social media, so it's hard for me to understand all that, but I do know that it's can be a dangerous thing, you know.

It's just wrong. You know, it's just, and I've heard this statistic, and I don't know if this is accurate, but one statistic that I heard was half of all the fair start on social media. It begins with stuff like that, you know, I like you innocent little.

You're, you're fishing, you know, I like you. Do you like me? And I say this and you say this. And you need to be very careful. And if your spouse, your spouse should have your passwords, your spouse should have unhindered access to your phone, your computer, all those, there should not be any secrets that you have.

And when your spouse says something to you like, you know, that makes me feel uncomfortable that you're liking people of the opposite sex.

So how can she talk to him about it without him being defensive?

Well, if he is defensive, they need to go to counseling. And you just need to get, get to a place to where your husband would listen to you.

And someone that has authority in his life would be able to say to him, he knock it off.

One thing that's one of the things I've always appreciated about you, you've never kept anything from me. You know, we've always been very open, honest about everything in our life.

And, you know, we don't do social media, but, you know, we have computers, we have phones. And I know that I can get into your phone and your computer anytime I want.

I mean, you know, in same with you and me, it's just, you know, I think that anything that you keep, you know, away from each other, it's not a good thing.

Well, emotionally it separates. And so if you have secrets and you start this secret life over here of, you know, fishing, you know, exploring this world over here, that your spouse isn't a part of, it begins an emotional divide, which ends up in an affair, even if it's just an emotional affair, you're separated.

And so you have to work and staying one in the relationship and that just means for one. And if I'm doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable, I want you to tell them, you know, rather than being defensive.

Let me say, as a pastor for 40 years, I've seen tons of marriages break up over stuff like this. And it starts out and they say, well, it's just innocent. No, it's not innocent at all. It's very, very dangerous thing.

Okay, when we got married a couple years ago, we moved in with my mom to save money and save up for our first home. Now I feel like she has become too dependent on us.

How do we create healthy boundaries now that we are moving out on our own?

Yeah, I think just it's a good thing to have family to live with. She was very gracious, obviously, to let them stay with her like that.

And I think it would be an actual thing to become dependent, you know, if you have your kids living with you and somebody to live for you and, you know, go over here for you and stuff.

Now that you're moving out on your own, you need to sit down and have a conversation with her, loving conversation. Mom, thank you so much. You've been so nice to us.

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