The Fifth Hour: Smooth Jazz and "Laker girlllls"
The Ben Maller Show
Fox Sports Radio and iHeartPodcasts
4.8 • 865 Ratings
🗓️ 19 June 2026
⏱️ 29 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
The podcast sweatshop is back open for business! Ben Maller bobs and weaves his way through another edition of the Friday Fifth Hour, sharing a surprisingly heartfelt story about a 40-plus-year Lakers employee he connected with through the magic of radio despite being a card-carrying member of the Lakers Haters Society of America. The Quote of the Week makes its triumphant return, and then things get wonderfully weird. Ben discovers that no actual garlic was harmed in the making of garlic sauce, learns you can buy Cotton Candy Cat Fur, celebrates the return of Fried Apple Pies, and investigates an Endless Shrimp Sweepstakes that sounds too good to be true for seafood fanatics. It's a grab bag of nonsense, nostalgia, oddities, and storytelling from the Nocturnal Colonel. Buckle up — because the road to nowhere has never been more entertaining.
Follow, rate & review "The Fifth Hour!" https://podcasts.apple.com/us/grpodcast/the-fifth-hour-with-ben-maller/id1478163837
#BenMaller
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | This is an I-Heart podcast. |
| 0:02.5 | Guaranteed Human. |
| 0:05.0 | If you thought four hours a day, 1,200 minutes a week was enough? |
| 0:11.0 | Think again. |
| 0:12.0 | He's the last remnants of the old republic. |
| 0:14.8 | A sole bastion of fairness. |
| 0:16.7 | He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter, the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. |
| 0:22.3 | Wow. |
| 0:22.9 | The clearinghouse of hot takes break free for something special. |
| 0:27.0 | The fifth hour with Ben Mallor starts right now. |
| 0:32.5 | In the air everywhere. |
| 0:36.8 | The fifth hour with me, Ben Mallor, You have been indoctrinated into the cult of the |
| 0:42.3 | Maler militia on this Friday, the 19th day of June, day number 170. 170 of the year. |
| 0:53.1 | There are 195 days left, I am told, as we hang out together here in June. |
| 1:00.1 | And it is a holiday today, June 10th, which is a relatively new holiday that didn't exist |
| 1:07.8 | up until a couple years ago. |
| 1:09.1 | It is also National Kissing Day, which also didn't exist that long ago. |
| 1:16.2 | And I clicked a thing of a jig, or was it a do-hicky? |
| 1:21.3 | I'll have to check with my advisor, Alf, the alien old Piner. |
| 1:25.0 | I clicked on something, and I was like, well, what's going on here? |
| 1:28.1 | So it's National Kissing Day. |
| 1:29.3 | Here's a fun fact. |
... |
Transcript will be available on the free plan in 28 days. Upgrade to see the full transcript now.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Fox Sports Radio and iHeartPodcasts, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of Fox Sports Radio and iHeartPodcasts and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.