The Fart Mic Returns w/ Ron White | Your Mom's House Ep. 823

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Tom Segura

Comedy, Relationships, Society & Culture, Tv & Film, Comedy Interviews

4.7 • 23.4K Ratings

🗓️ 13 August 2025

⏱️ 74 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Be sure to visit https://Store.YMHStudios.com for up to 65% off our merch! SPONSORS: Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool http://www.monarchmoney.com/ymh Go to https://helixsleep.com/YMH for 20% Off Sitewide. Get your first month of BlueChew FREE Just use promo code YMH at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping. https://bluechew.com This week on Your Mom's House, Tom’s still off making a movie so Christina P calls in comedy legend and professional cigar philosopher Ron White to fill the daddy seat. The two dive right in—covering Ron’s brand-new “49-year-old bombshell” girlfriend, the celestial math that makes their relationship perfect, and why fake boobs just aren’t his thing. Ron spills the story of his ill-fated Paris river cruise, complete with pot smoke, a furious German-sounding captain, and a dramatic escape to a Paris hotel equipped with a literal sex swing.Christina shocks Ron by resurrecting a banned piece of YMH history—the beloved fart mic—and offers it up for live use. They trade stories about prenups gone wrong, vomiting for the sake of Cracker Barrel breakfast, fat roll storage hacks, and just how much sex is “too much” when you’re pushing 70. Plus, Ron shares why he thinks he’s better at stand-up now than ever, how to truly slow down on stage, and the strange gift of being an endearing pervert. From fart sandwiches to Swarovski crystal chairs, and from emotional talks about aging parents to the logistics of anal, this is still a YMH at its purest: filthy, funny, and a little too honest. Your Mom’s House Ep. 823 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:04:17 - Opening Clip: Fart Sandwich 00:08:04 - The Return Of The Fart Mic 00:13:45 - Ron White's Cruise From Hell 00:24:03 - Paris Sex Swings 00:31:54 - Clip: Dumb Brazilian Tourist 00:33:05 - Common Law Marriage 00:41:43 - Clip: Exploding Mom 00:42:56 - Clip: Fat Tourist Breaks Chair 00:44:26 - Clip: Fatso Mechanic 00:46:12 - Clip: Cool Karate 00:48:24 - Clip: Energy Sex 00:51:37 - Cracker Barrel Ambassador 00:57:20 - Sons & Fathers 01:01:56 - Ron's Comedic Words Of Wisdom 01:08:16 - Wrap Up 01:12:12 - Closing Song - "Delta White Mousepad" by Kosher Charro, Remix by John Douglass Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	What's everybody? Just kidding. That's so dumb. That's what my stupid husband would say.
0:04.7	But guess what? He's not here. I am. And you know what I'm going to do? He doesn't even realize.
0:09.9	We are having a huge YMH merch store sale. Okay? We're coming out of the closet.
0:19.0	Pull your jeans up as high and tight as they can possibly be this
0:23.2	will be your last chance ever to get the designs like the cool mom hats hello that's my favorite
0:30.3	um park closer which was such a good time on ymph fed smoker hate fromMH shirt, and all the other designs. Guys, they're not coming back. This is it. Last call. So go to store.com right now, right now, right now. All right, are we ready, mommies? We're ready. Okay. You called that dude Mommy? I've called them all mommies.
0:54.9	You do?
0:55.3	They're my mommies, yeah.
0:56.2	Oh, how sweet.
1:00.0	Welcome.
1:01.7	Welcome to your mom's house.
1:09.8	What's everybody? Just kidding. I don't say that. That's stupid Tom. And he's not here. He's out filming a movie. I am Christine and co-hosting today with me. I'm so pumped to have Mr. Ron White, everybody. Clap for Ron White. The greatest. Thank you for the clapping.
1:28.2	I love you. Oh, I love you too. Who pushed the microphone closer to your beautiful face.
1:33.0	All right. Here we go. How have you been? What's new? What's your summer?
1:37.0	It just got back from vacation, went on a great vacation with my girlfriend.
1:45.3	Who's this girlfriend?
1:50.4	We started seeing each other about six or seven months ago,
1:57.1	and she's perfect for me because I'll be 69 years old in December,
2:00.2	and she'll be 70 and 23 years. so I just did it that's perfect yeah right
2:06.3	that's so right there you know we're right there sort of yeah and uh beautiful smart girl yeah
2:13.2	just uh head of HR for some private equity group.
2:18.4	She's smart.
	...

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