As your parents or grandparents age and become more dependent, there may come a time when your role transitions into that of a caregiver. For family members, this can be a difficult adjustment. As well as we know and as much as we love our parents, we’re probably used to them supporting us, more than the other way around. Still, being a family caregiver is a wonderful way to bond with our loved ones and truly appreciate the time we have left with them.

While being a caregiver for a loved one can be immensely rewarding, it’s also emotionally taxing, with a huge learning curve. If you’re just starting this new role, you probably feel a bit daunted. You’ve had to take on a long list of new responsibilities – and learn to balance them with your own personal lives.

Being a family caregiver isn’t an easy task, but with the right preparation, you can make the experience more positive for you and your loved one. That’s why today, we’re diving into the family caregiver’s checklist – so you can know what to expect for the years ahead and be as prepared as possible.

First on the checklist? Gathering and recording important information. You might feel like you know everything about your parent – after all, you’ve known them your whole life, and had lived with them for years growing up. Even still, it’s essential that all the information you know is written and recorded in one easy-to-access, organized place.

Important information includes all those basics you have floating around in your head. Your loved one’s social security number, driver’s license number, and blood type, and any possible allergies. If your loved one is a veteran, record their service serial number. Even though it might feel redundant to write down something you know by heart, it’s important to prepare for possible emergency situations, when someone else needs access to these files, or you simply have a mental blank.

Once you’ve gathered and organized basic details, you can turn your attention to medical history. Write down everything you know about your loved one’s medical history – including family history. Record the phone numbers of anyone who handles their medical care – including their physician, physical therapist, and anyone else who seems relevant.

You’ll also want to keep a list of their medications – including any supplements, vitamins, over the counter drugs or even creams that they use. To learn more about organizing your parents’ medications, check out our episode on medication safety.

After you’ve organized personal and medical information, you can look toward important people in your loved one’s life. Create a list of your parent’s most important contacts – including addresses and phone numbers – so you can easily contact them in the event of an emergency. Even if you think you know this information from the top of your head, it can easily be forgotten in the moment.

After all, if your loved one has an emergency, you will be entirely focused on them – and not want to rack your brain for who to call. If you accidentally forget someone, that could lead to hurt feelings and unnecessary stress. It’s a good idea to have a list handy, no matter what.

Once all this information is noted, you can shift your focus to the deeper things you know about your parent. Their likes and dislikes, values, talents, goals, favorite meals and activities, least favorite meals and activities.

Having a clear understanding of who your parent is – beyond the informational basics – will help to ensure that you’re giving them the best possible care. As your parent becomes more dependent, it might be harder for them to express themselves to you – so you’ll want to know these things like the back of your hand. That way, your parent will never have to eat a food they dislike, and they can participate in games and activities that hone their interests.

Next, you’ll want to make an assessment of your parents’ capabilities. How much care does your parent need? At the beginning, you might just be helping with the basics, like shopping or cleaning. There’s a chance, though, that your parent might require more heavy-duty care – maybe they have trouble eating on their own or keeping up with personal hygiene. Maybe they need help keeping track of medications.

By making a list of what your parents’ abilities are, you’ll have a better idea of how much they really need from you. Too often, family caregivers are thrown into the ocean without a life raft. They might not be prepared for just how much help their parent needs and be overwhelmed when it’s more than they expected. To avoid this type of situation, start assessing right away.

If your parent is moving in with you from out of town, or if you’re moving in with them, you might not know their present situation as well as you need to. Contact the people closest to them – doctors, friends, other family members – and ask questions. Has your parent had trouble walking lately? Do they ever seem confused or forgetful? What’s the condition of their living space – are they keeping up with house care?

Gather all the information you can and make a checklist of activities your parent can do by himself, and the ones he needs more help with. AARP suggests assessing the following activities of daily living: feeding, toileting, selecting proper attire, grooming, maintaining continence, putting on clothes, bathing, walking and transferring from a chair or a bed to a wheelchair.

In addition, they suggest you look at the following IADLs, or instrumental activities of daily living: managing finances, handling transportation (driving or navigating public transit), shopping, preparing meals, using the telephone and other communication devices, managing medications, performing housework and basic home maintenance.

In addition to assessing these needs yourself, take your parent to a doctor or a geriatric social worker. There, they will conduct an official assessment of activity that will give you a much better idea of the level of care they need.

If your parent requires around the clock care, you’ll need to consider how you plan to meet their needs. Can you handle this level of care by yourself, or do you need to consider other options? If keeping your loved one at home is important to your loved one and to you, then consider speaking with a professional home care provider about options that can help you manage their needs and yours. If your loved one requires medical care, then you can discuss home health care options with their doctor. To learn more about the varying types of care available, check out our episode on how to choose the best care for your loved one.

Once you’ve gathered all this information about your loved one – from their social security number to their ability levels – it’s time to take a look at the living environment. It might be necessary to install extra safety precautions at home. From extra handrails in the shower and by the toilet, to possibly installing a stairlift, you’ll need to make sure that the house is as safe as possible for your loved one.

The main reason to check home safety is to prevent unnecessary falls. Start with the bathroom. You can add non-skid strips to the tub or shower, to make the floor less slippery, in addition to adding safety rails in the bathroom. Make sure to wipe the floor whenever it’s wet, and to put bathmats beside the shower and tub. Finally, add a shower or bath seat.

Now, take a look at the rest of the house. Make sure there is a clear path from one room to another, so that your parent can easily move around the house. Are there cords or wires that your parent could trip over? Uneven steps on the staircase? Rooms with poor lighting? Evaluate any risks and see what you can do to minimize them.

Things like removing throw rugs from the house and installing thinner carpet can help prevent falls. You can also install handrails by the stairs (if not a stairlift) and make sure your parent is wearing shoes and slippers with non-skid soles. Make sure chairs have arm rests to help your parent get in and out of them more easily.

Next, make your way to the kitchen. Open the drawers, cabinets, oven, and refrigerator. Are any doors jammed or stuck? Do they feel heavy and difficult to open? Are there items on high shelves that your parent will need regular access to?

Once you’ve examined your loved one’s living space, it’s time to examine yourself. This isn’t an easy job – so you need to make sure you’re in the best possible shape to perform it. That means making time for yourself, too. Schedule in time for yourself every day – even if it’s just for an hour. Go for walks, read, engage in hobbies that you love.

If you can, try to make room for a day out at least one day a week. You might need to find respite care for this time – see if any friends or family might be able to help or speaking with a professional home care provider. Caregiving is emotionally and physically taxing – so while it might seem selfish to put in the time for yourself, it’s actually one of the most selfless things you can do.

If you feel like you’re having a hard time, ask yourself the following questions: are you eating healthily? Are you sleeping enough? Are you taking breaks? Do you have a support system? Have you considered or looked into a caregiver support group? Do you ask for help when you need it? Does your employer know that you’ve taken on these extra responsibilities?

Remember – when you’re taking care of yourself, you’re taking care of your loved one, too. You might find that caregiving is too overwhelming, and if it’s just not working, it’s okay to be honest with yourself. You will need to accept help from time to time, as this is an enormous task for any one person to take on. Be patient and gentle with yourself as you begin this journey.

Making the transition to a family caregiver is never easy. We hope that this check list will help you to get started – so you can feel a little bit less daunted and a lot more prepared as you begin. Caregiving can be one of the most rewarding experiences in the world – and the more prepared you are, the better the experience will be for both you and your loved one.

We want to thank you for joining us here at All Home Care Matters, All Home Care Matters is here for you and to help families as they navigate long-term care issues. Please visit us at allhomecarematters.com there is a private secure fillable form there where you can give us feedback, show ideas, or if you have questions. Every form is read and responded to. If you know someone is who could benefit from this episode, please share it with them.

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Sources:

https://www.aarp.org/content/dam/aarp/entertainment/books/2015-04/Caregivers_Excerpt.pdf

 

https://www.caregivingmetrowest.org/InfoCenter/Home-Health-and-Safety/Home-Safety-and-Modification

 

http://www.agis.com/Document/5/caregiver-self-assessment.aspx

 

http://www.agis.com/Document/26/tips-for-preventing-falls.aspx

 

https://www.homecareassistanceftlauderdale.com/caregiving-rewards/#:~:text=Surveys%20indicate%20that%2083%20percent,member%20also%20provides%20many%20benefits.

 

http://www.caregiverslibrary.org/Caregivers-Resources/GRP-Checklists-Forms