The Ethics of the Family
Moral Maze
BBC
4.5 • 609 Ratings
🗓️ 12 January 2023
⏱️ 43 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
While no family is likely to have such a public falling out, anyone can surely relate the royal rift to tensions within their own family – the grudges, rivalries and feelings of betrayal. Prince Harry’s words, “I would like to get my father back, I would like to have my brother back”, reveal the depth of hurt experienced by all involved. Families are places of nurturing and wounding; moral networks where expectations of love and loyalty are tested. When the often inevitable strife ensues, are our moral obligations to our family conditional or unconditional?
It’s often argued that there is something uniquely special about family bonds; that blood is thicker than water. Family members are the only people in our lives that are permanent and unchosen, they have known us since the beginning, and that connection can be grounding and valuable in helping us understand ourselves. We might feel instinctively that adult children have obligations to their aging parents, simply by virtue of them being a parent. Alternatively, we might see the relationship as contractual, where obligations are based on the love received – or the damage done – growing up. Or, we might believe we don’t owe our families anything, regardless of how much we have benefitted from the relationships, and that our ties with family are no different to any other friendship. Moreover, many philosophers challenge the idea that we have special duties to someone just because we share their genetic material – by that logic, adopted children would have obligations to their biological parents who they’ve never met.
As the 21st century definition of ‘family’ widens, what are our ethical commitments to our family?
Producer: Dan Tierney.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | BBC Sounds, Music, Radio, podcasts. |
| 0:05.4 | Good evening, I'm guessing Prince Harry's literary tastes don't run to Tolstoy, |
| 0:10.3 | but the past week seemed to have borne out the famous opening lines of Anna Karenina. |
| 0:15.0 | Happy families are all alike. |
| 0:17.0 | Every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. |
| 0:21.0 | There can't be many who have paid tens of millions of dollars to take chunks out of their family, |
| 0:25.4 | or to have a worldwide audience when you criticise your father, undermine your brother, |
| 0:29.6 | call your stepmother dangerous, and complain your whole family has been plotting to do you down. |
| 0:35.2 | The context may be one of unparalleled privilege and pitiless scrutiny, |
| 0:39.6 | but the emotions, the resentment, the jealousy, the suspicions, at least have parallels with |
| 0:44.6 | unhappy families everywhere. Family is a moral networks where expectations of love and loyalty |
| 0:50.4 | are tested sometimes to destruction. You don't choose them, you can't change them. |
| 0:55.5 | How much of a moral priority should they be? What do we owe? Parents, for example, the embarrassing |
| 1:01.4 | uncle, even the resented stepmother, are our obligations conditional or unconditional? How do we balance |
| 1:09.2 | our duties to them against those to society as a whole? |
| 1:13.1 | Family matters. Should it? How much? The moral maze tonight. Our panel, Melanie Phillips, |
| 1:18.2 | social commentator at the Times, the libertarian Marxist Ash Sarker from the Navar Media Group, |
| 1:24.0 | the evening standard columnist Anne McElvoy, and Mona Siddiqui, Professor of Islamic and |
| 1:28.5 | Inter-Religious Studies at Edinburgh University. |
| 1:30.8 | Mona, how high a moral value do you put on family? |
| 1:34.8 | I think if we're lucky, the first love we ever feel is from our parents and our immediate |
| 1:39.3 | family, and I don't doubt for a minute that this is a kind of love that supports us and stays |
... |
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